<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>taking my chances on lightning by meanho</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24105562">taking my chances on lightning</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/meanho/pseuds/meanho'>meanho</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Bickering, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Knight Kim Mingyu, Knights - Freeform, M/M, Magic, Minor Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Mutual Pining, Sorcerer Yoon Jeonghan, War, jfc so much bickering, they're so whipped</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:27:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>28,624</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24105562</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/meanho/pseuds/meanho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeonghan's magic sparks off his fingertips; Mingyu sets it alight.</p><p>
  <strong>Prompt:</strong>
</p><blockquote>
  <p>jeonghan has been in exile for years in a remote village very far from the palace walls he grew up in. through wits and resourcefulness, he has made a home for himself, comfortable and bearable. but when the village receives a visit from a mysterious knight who looks at him with pain and longing in his eyes, the peace he knows is shattered and the truth about the reason for him being exiled revealed.</p>
</blockquote>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Mingyu/Yoon Jeonghan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>125</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Seventeen Rare Pair Fest: Round 1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. humble beginnings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">



        <li>In response to a prompt by
            Anonymous in the <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SVTRarePairFest">SVTRarePairFest</a>
          collection.
        </li>
    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>a/n: hi! this is my first svt fic so i'm kind of nervous... but i hope i'll do the prompt some justice (oT-T)尸</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"As it has been said: Love and a cough cannot be concealed. Even a small cough. Even a small love." —Anne Sexton</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Our past is something we cannot change. It’s eternalized in our memories as images, voices, and people. People we loved, people we hated, and everyone in between.</p><p>Jeonghan finds comfort in it, detaching whatever’s happened from whatever is currently taking place in his life. It sets apart what could’ve been and what has actually happened. It lets him loosen the reigns of all the mistakes he’d admitted guilt for. Jeonghan would like to keep the past where it’s always been. Unreachable – a distant memory.</p><p>But the past follows Jeonghan’s present as a shadow. It’s always there, niggling at the back of his consciousness. At night, the shadows would spread within the darkness, and Jeonghan worries it would consume him.</p><p>That particular night, it finally did.</p><p>Right there on Jeonghan’s rickety, old porch, stands a knight. His sword gleams under the faint light, blending with the rest of his metal armour.</p><p>He notices the royal family crest emblazoned on the man’s breastplate and just like prey caught in a moment of weakness, Jeonghan goes completely still.</p><p>The knight’s earnest eyes search his, a question budding on the tip of his tongue, “Jeonghan?” </p><p>Jeonghan doesn’t let himself respond to the name. He schools his face and calms the racing thrums inside his chest.</p><p>“Do I know you?” The knight adds after receiving mere silence.</p><p>Jeonghan stares into the other’s eyes, a sharp set of onyx beads. It’s unnerving how much Kim Mingyu hasn’t changed.</p><p>The only difference now is how he says Jeonghan's name; like it's something foreign.</p><p>But that's what they've become. Foreign.</p><p>“No,” Jeonghan says then, resolute, “I’m afraid you don’t.”</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>Even if it was a lie, Kim Mingyu never wanted to know him in the first place. That — Jeonghan could guarantee as a fact.</p><p>That very fact was established in their first meeting. When Mingyu was seven years of age and was brought into the castle by his father as the prince’s page boy. Jeonghan didn’t bother himself with the news but his interest was forced upon him when his friend, the prince himself, decided to tell him all there is to know about Kim Mingyu.</p><p>“I heard he’s a nobleman’s son,” Prince Seungcheol rambles on, ignoring Jeonghan who, in turn, ignores him. The other boy’s nose is deep into his textbook, only humming out responses ever so often. “He’s younger than both of us.”</p><p>Jeonghan couldn’t care less if he was a toddler. On the other hand, Seungcheol is obviously excited.</p><p>“A boy our age…” the prince sighs, nerves sparking off his pale skin, “I can’t wait to meet him!”</p><p>With the knowledge of him being the prince’s only friend, Jeonghan takes pity on the other and indulges him, “He’d make you great company, Sire.”</p><p>Seungcheol’s face brightens up at that, “Jeonghan, please promise me one thing.”</p><p>“Anything, your Highness.”</p><p>“Promise me we’d all be good friends,” the prince’s gummy smile appears.</p><p>Jeonghan tries to match the other’s enthusiasm, falling short halfway. “Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>It’s definitely easier said than done.</p><p>Kim Mingyu is a menace. As soon as he steps into the castle, Jeonghan’s routine of peace is inherently shattered.</p><p>It doesn’t help that Seungcheol is completely infatuated with the newcomer, spending all of his time with the boy. Time he would have usually spent with Jeonghan in the library. Kim Mingyu assisted the prince in combat-training, accompanied him in horse riding lessons, and took him everywhere out of Jeonghan’s reach.</p><p>He supposes it’s better to do his reading without Seungcheol running his mouth next to him but when Jeonghan hears the two boys play fighting outside the window, he decides it’s even worse this way.</p><p>The prince is just excited to have a new friend. It’s okay.</p><p>Or at least that’s what he tells himself.</p><p>Jeonghan continues to busy himself in the potion room, brewing new concoctions to prepare for his next monthly evaluation. “A rabbit’s foot, half a quad of iron dust…” he recites the instructions off the top of his head, running his fingers through the glass jars lined up on the shelves. The one he needs is up on the top shelf. Jeonghan gets on his toes to reach for it.</p><p>“Need some help with that?”</p><p>The voice catches him off guard and Jeonghan stumbles. He braces himself on the shelf for balance, hot shame and irritation going up his neck. The young apprentice turns his head, brushing his long, overgrown hair out of his face.</p><p>What he sees is a boy kneeling on the window sill, much like a bird. His skin is tanned from almost always being outdoors and his dark eyes held mischief in them. Unlike any bird, though, he falls into the room.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Jeonghan yells, not bothering to ask who he is. The only other boy in the castle who isn’t the prince could only be this one.</p><p>Mingyu rises on his feet, dusting off his simple clothes. He’s devastatingly taller than Jeonghan for a seven-year-old. Jeonghan himself is almost ten, but this page boy can even compare to Seungcheol’s height.</p><p>“It looked like you were struggling,” Mingyu says. He is mocking him.</p><p>Jeonghan seethes, “Not all of us were born as beanpoles.”</p><p>The page boy frowns and draws near him. Jeonghan, who’d put up a strong front, grows increasingly wary the closer he gets. Mingyu’s sharp eyes zero in on him – for a second, Jeonghan thinks Seungcheol must have been lying about the boy’s age.</p><p>Uninvited, Mingyu’s right hand stretch out. Jeonghan holds his breath, waiting for the other to strike. He doesn’t.</p><p>Befuddled, Jeonghan tilts his head up to see Mingyu reaching for a jar. It’s the one with iron dust. Sure, Mingyu also had to get on his toes, but for him it’s less of a challenge than it was for Jeonghan.</p><p>Without a doubt, he hated Kim Mingyu.</p><p>“It’s a shame you weren’t,” Mingyu says, his face just above Jeonghan’s own, “Otherwise, you would’ve been able to get this.”</p><p>Jeonghan’s nose scrunches up at the smell of sweat and dirt, something he’d expected the other boy to roll around in. A few minutes into their acquaintance and Jeonghan’s already formed an opinion on him. Kim Mingyu was brash, unrefined. He wasn’t suitable for the palace.</p><p>Instead of taking the jar for him, Mingyu slides it further to the back of the shelf. Jeonghan gasps in offence.</p><p>“You’re horrible!” he turns back to look for the hidden jar with dread.</p><p>“And you’re short,” Mingyu supplies, “Cheol didn’t tell me you were this short.”</p><p>Jeonghan’s eyes widen with horror, “Don’t call his Majesty that! Where are your manners?”</p><p>“What?” The page boy shrugs, “He told me to himself.”</p><p>All of a sudden, the ugly feeling Jeonghan’s kept hidden away and nurtured with the thoughts of Kim Mingyu overflows. He feels it taking over him, snatching control of his hand as it slaps Mingyu across his face.</p><p>The room turns cold. Jeonghan’s temper falls with it, dissolving rapidly into a puddle of guilt. Mingyu stares at him, half in shock and half in disbelief. Jeonghan releases a shaky exhale, the tips of his fingers numb.</p><p>“I hate you,” Jeonghan cries, not acknowledging the tears pooling in his eyes. Mingyu looked alarmed but mostly confused.</p><p>He shoves the latter away and runs out of the room. Jeonghan is a terrible person around Kim Mingyu and he hates himself for it.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>At this point, Jeonghan is convinced that Seungcheol is faking his ignorance.</p><p>Only a fool wouldn’t notice the awkward air around him and Mingyu. It’s not like Jeonghan’s putting effort into pretending to like the other boy.</p><p>Mingyu’s doing a worse job of hiding his distaste, nitpicking every little thing Jeonghan does, and going out of his way to prove to the prince that his opinions are superior.</p><p>“It’s nice to see you both getting along,” Seungcheol says, eyes turning into little crescents. Both Jeonghan and Mingyu immediately fall silent.</p><p>It’s later when Seungcheol is caught up in practicing archery when Mingyu pulls the magic apprentice aside, “We need to make up,” he says in a low voice, groaning when Jeonghan gives him a look. “Believe me, I don’t want this as much as you do but we need to do it for Cheol.”</p><p>Jeonghan glances at his friend, who’s still busy aiming at the target. He remembers the promise he’d made him then and it kills him to admit that Mingyu isn’t completely wrong.</p><p>“You’re right,” Jeonghan agrees through gritted teeth, “We should at least be civil when his Highness is around.”</p><p>Mingyu snorts, “Good. I wouldn’t want anything to do with you if it weren’t for him anyway.”</p><p>“Trust me, the feeling’s mutual.”</p><p>Mingyu spots Seungcheol looking at them from the corner of his eyes. He gestures at Jeonghan to smile before wringing a gangly arm around his neck, pulling closer to whisper into the older boy’s ear.</p><p>“Laugh. He’s watching us.”</p><p>Jeonghan doubles over in laughter, acting as if Mingyu had told him the funniest joke he’s ever heard. “God, I can’t stand you,” he says through bouts of giggles. He sincerely means those words.</p><p>Seungcheol waves, beaming at them as he points to his arrows that are stuck on the target. Jeonghan and Mingyu cheer him on, clinging onto each other as if they’d gotten along their whole lives.</p><p>Mingyu hisses under his breath, “You stepped on my foot.”</p><p>“It’s well deserved,” Jeonghan counters, still putting on a smile for his prince.</p><p>If Seungcheol really is faking it, he’s doing a better job than they are.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>One spring, Mingyu turns fourteen. Everyone makes it such a big deal; as if Mingyu hadn’t already done so himself. Nearly everyone in the castle is aware of him becoming a squire.</p><p>Jeonghan doesn’t have to deal with him too often nowadays (thankfully so) since their schedules clash. Seungcheol still meets him from time to time, visiting him in the potions room or in the ward where Jeonghan assists the royal physician. Mingyu rarely accompanies him on those occasions.</p><p>As agreed, they keep out of each other’s business as much as they can, only forced to interact with each other whenever Seungcheol is involved. The arrangement seems to work perfectly for these past couple of years.</p><p><em>Be civil</em>, Jeonghan reminds himself as he makes his way to Mingyu’s chamber. <em>Be civil</em>.</p><p>He knocks on the other’s door, as per his Prince’s orders. It had been in his worst luck that he’d bumped into Seungcheol this morning – earning a task to deliver a package to Mingyu. Jeonghan’s busy worrying over his pyrokinesis finals. He doesn’t have time for this.</p><p>Mingyu answers the door and is more than surprised to find a bored-looking Jeonghan waiting for him.</p><p>“What brings you here, my buddy ol’ pal?”</p><p>Jeonghan resists the urge to roll his eyes. He meets Mingyu’s gaze and detests the way he has to crane his neck to get a proper look. “The Prince told me to give you this,” he says, handing over a parcel.</p><p>Mingyu’s thick, strong eyebrows shoot up, “What is it?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t know,” the apprentice points out.</p><p>Mingyu proceeds to unwrap it. Jeonghan scoffs when they discover what was inside. In Mingyu’s hand is a bright red apple.</p><p>“Another one of His Highness’ antics…” Jeonghan stares at the fruit. He can’t believe Seungcheol had sent him here to give Mingyu an apple. The taller boy doesn’t look disappointed though, instead, he gazes at the red item contemplatively.</p><p>“It’s a birthday present,” Mingyu says, the corner of his lips pulling up into a smile.</p><p>Jeonghan can’t find it in him to feel bad for the other. He laughs, “That’s absurd.”</p><p>Instead of biting back at him, Mingyu says, “Come see for yourself,” and grabs Jeonghan’s hand to drag him out into the halls.</p><p>Flustered, Jeonghan could barely complain as Mingyu leads him out of the castle, too preoccupied with how clammy his hands are getting in the other boy’s hold. Jeonghan’s heart is beating frantically against his ribcage; he blames it on all the running.</p><p>“Kim Mingyu, where are you taking me?” he demands, panting as they reach a clearing outside of the palace.</p><p>The younger one ignores him, halting their tracks in front of the royal stable. Jeonghan tries squirming out of the handhold but Mingyu holds on tight and tugs him further into following him. The two boys enter the stable.</p><p>“Mingyu, boy,” a man appears from inside, “Good to see you so early. Something arrived this morning – the Prince told me to doll her up for you.”</p><p>“Are you…” Mingyu’s fingers tighten around his, obviously nervous, “Is he serious?!”</p><p>The stableman laughs, “Go take a look at her yourself. She’s somewhere around the back. You’d know when you see her.”</p><p>Jeonghan is yet again pulled away, barely able to bow properly to the man before they leave. Mingyu’s energy is bouncing off of him like sunlight and Jeonghan is still left in the dark.</p><p>They reach a field in the back of the stable. A single horse stands in the middle of the green field, its healthy black coat gleaming under the sun. Jeonghan stares as it’s grazing, noticing the freckles of white dotting its back like snow.</p><p>Mingyu leads them closer to the mare, bringing up his other hand that’s currently holding the apple. The horse takes notice of this and lifts its head up, sniffing at the offering. Jeonghan laughs when it huffs in disinterest. It must be partial to certain snacks.</p><p>“What?” Mingyu’s expression turn crestfallen, “I thought all horses liked apples…”</p><p>Jeonghan snickers next to him, “Then it must not like you much.”</p><p>The taller boy scowls, “Then you try.”</p><p>With amusement, he takes the apple from Mingyu’s hand, holding it up to the animal. He closes his eyes and breathes out a spell, transfiguring the fruit into a sugar cube. The horse neighs happily.</p><p>When Jeonghan succeeds giving it the snack, Mingyu protests, “That’s cheating! You can’t use magic!”</p><p>“I can and I did,” Jeonghan winks, running his hand along the horse’s head. It huffs in content, “I think it likes me.”</p><p>Mingyu pouts, not really looking his age. “That’s <em>my</em> horse.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Jeonghan dismisses, still petting the gentle creature, “You should take it out for a ride.”</p><p>Mingyu is suddenly silent, unnerving Jeonghan. “What’s wrong?” he looks to the younger, “Don’t you know how to ride a horse?”</p><p>“Of course I do,” Mingyu mumbles, confidence leaking out of his posture, “I’ve just never ridden one… alone.”</p><p>Jeonghan tilts his head at this unfamiliar, timid side of Kim Mingyu.</p><p>“Come ride with me,” Mingyu then says, colour staining the tops of his cheeks. “I get intimidated when I try to do it alone.”</p><p>Not having expected the request, Jeonghan freezes up. “You’re joking.”</p><p>“You know what, forget it,” Mingyu turns around, burying his face in his hands. “Forget I even asked.”</p><p>Jeonghan glances at the horse and feels his curiosity piqued. After all, he’d be doing <em>Mingyu</em> a favour, not the other way around.</p><p>“Let’s do it.”</p><p>Mingyu whips his head at him in utter bewilderment. “Really?”</p><p>Jeonghan is beginning to regret his choice, “If you do anything funny, I’m kicking you off the damn horse.”</p><p>They don’t talk about that day.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan is twenty-three when he’s finally given an official position as the royal sorcerer. Others only get their titles once they’re in their late-twenties, but Jeonghan's a hard worker on top of being a prodigy so he's used to this pace.</p><p>Minghao is the only other sorcerer his age. He’d travelled from a foreign country a couple years back and told Jeonghan all the wacky hi-jinks that had taken place along his travels.</p><p>It’s a relief to finally have somebody he could confide about magic to, not that Seungcheol wasn’t a good listener, but Jeonghan never had a friend who was just as well versed in the knowledge of magic as he is. Minghao was refreshing.</p><p>Minghao had even introduced him to his familiar, a white python named Jun. Jeonghan had never even thought of having familiars before. His new friend encourages him to consider it, since having a familiar means getting better control of his magic source.</p><p>When he decides to do it, Jeonghan tries focusing his energy. It takes two whole days of meditation – Minghao told him it could’ve taken a lot longer if he wasn’t so determined – to finally picture his magic source into another form.</p><p>He was astonished to find a kitten with jet-black fur rubbing its head on his legs. It looks a few weeks old and Jeonghan knows it’s filled with his magic when he pets its fur, feeling the familiar tingle of his own energy.</p><p>The cat is named Lee Chan, or just Chan for short. Minghao thinks it sounds ridiculously human-like, but Jeonghan deems it perfect for the yellow-eyed feline.</p><p>He spends his days taking care of Chan, who is actually pretty self-sufficient already. All Jeonghan needs to do is spend some time with him to renew his energy source and most of it is just him lying in bed and cuddling the furball.</p><p>One day, when Jeonghan is still tending to patients in the ward, he feels Chan's energy waning. Anxious, he excuses himself to look for his familiar.</p><p>Chan's nowhere near his chambers, nor was he in the potions room where he usually naps. Jeonghan is beginning to think of all the worst possible scenarios. He focuses once more on his energy and lets it guide him, feeling the pull of his own magic calling him.</p><p>The sorcerer finds himself entering the training grounds – which is where the knights usually train. Jeonghan scratches the back of his neck, frustrated as to why his familiar would ever go there.</p><p>“Channie?” he calls out, worry weighing down his chest.</p><p>A soft mewl is heard from behind the stacks of hay, so Jeonghan goes around it to investigate.</p><p>Mingyu is there, sitting cross-legged and holding Chan in his arms. The kitten is gently biting around his finger, making the squire chuckle to himself. Jeonghan is dumbfounded. Of all the things he could imagine happening, this wasn’t one of them.</p><p>His familiar is a part of him; an extension of his energy, if he was to elaborate. So seeing that part of himself acting so intimate with none other than Kim Mingyu is… disturbing.</p><p>“Channie,” he calls out, gaining the creature’s attention. “I was looking everywhere for you.”</p><p>His voice startles Mingyu, who immediately lets go of the small cat. Chan scurries to Jeonghan’s awaiting arms, purring when it comes in contact with Jeonghan’s skin.</p><p>“I didn’t know you had a pet,” Mingyu comments, watching the two interact.</p><p>Jeonghan rolls his eyes, “Chan's not a pet.”</p><p>The younger quirks up an eyebrow, “See, you even named it.”</p><p>“It’s a he, if you must know,” Jeonghan grumbles, scratching under the kitten’s chin, “I don’t know how he even ended up here. Did you take him?”</p><p>“I have no idea either. I was just sitting here, taking a nap after assisting some knights in a hunt when that little guy woke me up.” Mingyu explains, groaning as he pushes himself up to stand. Jeonghan notes the other’s pained expression.</p><p>His eyes travel down Mingyu’s body, “Are you hurt?”</p><p>The squire shakes his head; it’s not very convincing. Mingyu takes one step forward before wincing in pain.</p><p>Jeonghan sighs, “Come on. Follow me.”</p><p>They walk to the nearest ward, where Jeonghan sits Mingyu down and makes Chan wait with him. He fusses around the supply room for medication before returning to them. He comes back to Mingyu petting the cat’s head.</p><p>Jeonghan really doesn’t get his familiar sometimes.</p><p>“Take off your clothes,” Jeonghan says, not bothering to word it nicely since it’s only Kim Mingyu. Not a real patient.</p><p>Mingyu stares at him, all hesitant. “Do I really need to?”</p><p>“I don’t think I really need to treat you either if you’re going to be difficult.”</p><p>The younger one sighs, muttering something that sounds like ‘smartass’ as he fiddles with his shirt’s buttons. Jeonghan averts his eyes, giving Mingyu a sense of privacy as he undresses.</p><p>Suddenly, a jolt of energy shocks through Jeonghan’s body. He turns around and sees that Chan had jumped and landed onto Mingyu’s bare chest. The cat’s just… sitting there, pawing on his clavicle. Jeonghan is beyond petrified.</p><p>“Lee Chan!” He scolds, not understanding what’s going on. “Get off of him!”</p><p>Mingyu laughs, not understanding the gravity of the situation, “It’s okay, Jeonghan. He’s kinda cute.”</p><p>No way is Mingyu calling any part of him cute. No way.</p><p>“No, he’s not.” Jeonghan takes Chan in his arms. His cheeks feel warm. Mingyu can only smile in his confusion, not helping Jeonghan’s case.</p><p>With quite a fit, Chan is let outside the garden. Jeonghan can only blame Minghao for this whole familiar fiasco.</p><p>Jeonghan calms himself down before facing Mingyu again. The squire is whistling to himself as he folds his clothes. “Were you always such a neat freak?” Jeonghan points out, walking around him to fetch his supplies.</p><p>Mingyu sets his clothes aside, “Were you always this curious, Yoon Jeonghan?” he teases, “I didn’t know you cared so much for me.”</p><p>Jeonghan stands in front of him, eyes taking in the various bruises discolouring Mingyu’s abdomen. “It’s because I don’t,” he simply says, taking a soothing balm out of the box. “What on earth happened to you?”</p><p>Mingyu chuckles at his words, “Sir Soonyoung lost control of his horse earlier due to a snake. We had some trouble getting him off of it safely.”</p><p>Jeonghan whistles lowly at the purple blotch near the younger’s hip. “Hold still,” he warns, spreading the balm onto the bruise before resting his hand on it. “This is gonna hurt.”</p><p>Mingyu hisses, pained. His hand grabs onto Jeonghan’s wrist out of reflex. The sorcerer continues on, unfazed, and finishes the spell. “Shit,” Mingyu pants, chest heaving slightly, “You weren’t lying.”</p><p>The skin under his hand is no longer purple, but back to Mingyu’s naturally tan skin colour.</p><p>“I’ve never actually said it, but you’re really good,” Mingyu compliments, looking at his healed skin.</p><p>Jeonghan snorts, “I don’t need you to say it.”</p><p>“Down-to-earth too, as you always are,” Mingyu adds with much-needed sarcasm.</p><p>“I shouldn’t have helped you,” Jeonghan sighs, “I should have left you for dead.”</p><p>Mingyu gasps, complete with the dramatics, “Oh no, good sir. I was so close to being knighted, you can’t possibly kill me now! Later on during battle; I’ll gladly die with honour then!”</p><p>Finding it ridiculous, Jeonghan breaks into laughter. Mingyu gazes on, a sense of pride settling in his chest for making the other man laugh.</p><p>“You can’t be serious,” Jeonghan wipes a tear from his eye.</p><p>“Why can’t I be?” Mingyu questions, “It’s an honour to die for my King.”</p><p>Jeonghan’s nose scrunches up, “In the end, death is still death. It’s not this noble thing knights make it out to be.”</p><p>“I’ll be knighted soon,” Mingyu says instead, “you think I’d understand it then?”</p><p>The sorcerer shakes his head in defeat. It’s futile to argue with Mingyu’s stubborn nature.</p><p>Jeonghan continues to work on the other bruises on Mingyu’s body. He takes his time on them, making sure they’re healed completely before he moves on. The younger man is being more tolerable today than usual.</p><p>“When I get knighted,” Mingyu starts, “You should come to my tournaments.”</p><p>Jeonghan stutters halfway through a spell, cursing in his mind for messing it up. “Why should I?”</p><p>“You like sports,” the younger states, “and you don’t hate me. You should come.”</p><p>“Well, don’t you sound confident?” Jeonghan blows a strand of hair out of his face, clicking his tongue when it falls right back into his eye.</p><p>Mingyu’s fingers brush the golden hair away from his face, gently tucking it back behind Jeonghan’s ear right after. “That’s because I am,” he smiles, seeming satisfied.</p><p><em>I’m going to cut my hair</em>, Jeonghan thinks.</p><p>He clears his throat, “Go put on your shirt,” and throws the article of clothing at Mingyu’s face.</p><p>Jeonghan walks away, readying himself for another round of hide-and-seek with his familiar.</p><p>“You have to come!” Mingyu yells from inside the ward, “I’ll be waiting!”</p><p><em>Ridiculous</em>, Jeonghan thinks as his familiar appears to the sound of Mingyu’s voice. The kitten meows back as if it’s the one replying to Mingyu. “I’m being ridiculous.”</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>“That… can’t be normal.”</p><p>Chan is playing with Jun on the floor, tumbling and biting as the snake slithers around its tummy. If they were real animals, Chan would’ve been lunch by now. The mere thought of it disturbs Jeonghan.</p><p>Minghao shrugs, “Jun seems to like your kitty cat,” he comments airily, “it means our energies are compatible.”</p><p>“I’m just thankful Channie didn’t take shape as a mouse,” Jeonghan deadpans, watching the little kitten pounce at the snake’s face fearlessly.</p><p>Minghao laughs out loud, “That would’ve been hilarious.”</p><p>“Yeah, only because you own a snake,” He rolls his eyes, “if Chan was a lion, I wouldn't worry as much.”</p><p>The baby cat is jumping around as if he was from the big cat family, making the two sorcerers laugh at the endearing spectacle.</p><p>Minghao stretches out his arm and without further beckoning, the white snake slithers to it, summoned. Jeonghan looks at them with intrigue.</p><p>The python wraps itself around Minghao's skinny arm, tongue poking out when his head reaches the man's shoulder. Minghao’s ring-adorned fingers rest under his familiar's chin.</p><p>“You're really fond of him, aren't you?” Jeonghan points out.</p><p>The other sorcerer laughs, “I’m a huge narcissist. Of course I do.” Minghao lets Jun slink around his shoulders, relaxing with the movement, “He's the best part of me.”</p><p>“Speaking of... Has Jun ever-” Jeonghan hums, uncertain, “showed any preference for people?”</p><p>“Preference?”</p><p>“Well, maybe more like he's being friendly to someone other than yourself...”</p><p>Minghao quirks an eyebrow, intrigued. “Jeonghan. Have you noticed how I never touch Chan?”</p><p>“Yeah and?”</p><p>“And I <em>love</em> cats,” the red-haired man emphasises this, “I never touch your familiar because he won't let me anyways.”</p><p>Jeonghan feels the blood slowly draining from his face. Minghao continues to answer his unspoken question, “It's a personal thing. I mean, don't get me wrong- I like you and I'd consider us good friends but trusting someone else with an integral part of yourself is scary shit. Sure, it can be gratifying once you've found someone reliable enough but then again, I digress...” he pauses when his friend shows no response, “Jeonghan? You okay?”</p><p>Now what does <em>this</em> mean?</p><p>Jeonghan stays silent in thought, following Chan's sporadic movements with his eyes.</p><p>“What's this about?” Minghao pries, “Did your familiar like anyone?”</p><p>“Yeah, but it's Mingyu-” and as soon as he says it, Jeonghan is filled with regret.</p><p>Minghao balks, his pointy ears making him look more surprised as his eyes grow wide, “Holy shit.”</p><p>The older man groans, “Not a word,” he hisses at the other, “I don't want to hear it.”</p><p>“But you clearly like him,” Minghao insists, not valuing Jeonghan's patience while it lasts.</p><p>“You're not making sense.”</p><p>“Your energy seeks him out, Jeonghan. Chan obviously adores him, so it would mean that you-"</p><p>Jeonghan cuts him short, “If you say that one more time I <em>will</em> have to kill you.”</p><p>The redhead laughs easily, knowing that he has leverage over their current situation.</p><p>“Are you going to watch his tournament?”</p><p>Jeonghan ignores the question, scooping Chan close to his chest. The kitten purrs softly.</p><p>His lack of reaction results in Minghao's teasing grin, “That's what I thought.”</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>As the day of Mingyu’s ceremony approaches, it’s only expected to see him less and less.</p><p>Jeonghan finds himself having to keep a close eye on Chan, since it won’t be the first time his familiar seeks Mingyu out. He still can’t figure out why and he won’t accept Minghao’s ridiculous answer either. He’s just putting up with it for now.</p><p>“Last time I checked, this was <em>my</em> library,” A light-hearted voice speaks from behind him, “What’s the use of calling it mine when you make better use of it than I ever could?”</p><p>Startled from his absent headspace, Jeonghan turns instinctively to face Seungcheol, “Your Highness.”</p><p>“Is this where you hide, Jeonghan?” Seungcheol’s arms cage around his neck, jokingly holding him in a choke-hold. “I haven’t seen you around in <em>ages</em>.”</p><p>Jeonghan pokes the other’s stomach, knowing he’s ticklish there.</p><p>“That’s treason!” Seungcheol bellowed, “Against your future king, Yoon Jeonghan!”</p><p>“Some king you’d make,” Jeonghan rolls his eyes, exasperated yet fond. It’s almost impressive how Seungcheol’s childish nature manages to survive the court’s best attempts at crushing it. He’s simmered down at best, but when he’s away from his councilmen, the crown prince lets all his inhibitions loose.</p><p>Jeonghan is somewhat relieved to know that Seungcheol can still be himself around him.</p><p>“What are you studying so late at night?” His royal friend asks. Jeonghan didn’t even realise the sun had already set.</p><p>“Well, I was <em>supposed</em> to learn about weather manipulation in preparation for next week’s tournament,” Jeonghan starts, fatigue underlying his tone, “but all I’m really doing is procrastinating.”</p><p>“The tournament,” Seungcheol breathes out, “From how everyone’s talking about it, it seems like we all need a little break.”</p><p>Jeonghan nods, “Guess we all need entertainment now and then. Heaven knows I need it.”</p><p>“Especially when tensions are running high in our kingdom,” the prince lets it slip under his breath.</p><p>“I take that it’s not going well?”</p><p>“Not really, no,” Seungcheol’s thick eyebrows push down into a barely concealed frown. “I’m afraid it might escalate into something unreasonable.”</p><p>Unreasonable. Unthinkable. Jeonghan actively ignores his choice of words to quell his own anxiety.</p><p>“Anyways,” Seungcheol diverts the topic after seeing his friend’s dimmed reaction, “The tournament. Are you going?”</p><p>“Why is everyone so curious about my attendance?” Jeonghan snorts.</p><p>Seungcheol’s eyes widen a little, “Exactly who is it that’s so curious, you say?”</p><p>The sorcerer tilts his head up to look at the ceiling, contemplative. “Nobody important.”</p><p>“So it’s Mingyu,” the prince concludes. All the years spent putting up with his bickering friends help him deduce their social patterns.</p><p>Jeonghan groans, “You’re only assuming because you know we hate each other.”</p><p>“You don’t hate him,” Seungcheol says in a practiced tone, “You know you don’t – and if only you’d look closely, Mingyu doesn’t hate you at all. Not even in the slightest.”</p><p>“Is that a wager?”</p><p>Seungcheol knocks on his head gently, “For the last time, I’m not betting my palace, Yoon Jeonghan.”</p><p>“Your horses, then?” He haggles.</p><p>The prince gives him a reprimanding look. He really sucks the fun out of things. “If you gave him a chance, you might be surprised.”</p><p>Jeonghan laughs, “You talk as if you do not know me, Your Majesty. I loathe the unexpected.”</p><p>Seungcheol steps back, hands patting down Jeonghan’s shoulders, “Eventually, who knows – you might grow fond of them.” Jeonghan glares at his friend as he slowly reaches for the exit.</p><p>When Seungcheol has left, Jeonghan goes back to his book – or in this case, <em>tries</em> to. His friends’ words repeat in his mind, the possibilities of it making his skin itch with discomfort. He would know his own feelings. He’s also pretty sure Mingyu’s made his dislike very clear, so why can’t he stop thinking about it?</p><p>They tolerate each other at most, Jeonghan thinks as he blinks at the flickering flame of the candle. It licks the air, twisting with the tiniest form of a wind. He stares at how it casts an orange glow upon the pages of his book.</p><p>His hands move to push the candle dish aside, making the shadows stretch with the change in angle. <em>Huh</em>. Jeonghan moves it back, noticing the simple difference created by the lighting. Now only half of the book is illuminated.</p><p><em>Mingyu doesn’t hate you</em>, he recalls Seungcheol saying.</p><p>He does. Jeonghan is sure of it, but then his gaze flits back to the candle. Or is that what I convince myself to see?</p><p>“Fuck it, my head hurts,” Jeonghan pulls his ponytail loose, massaging his scalp as he leans his elbows onto the desk.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>Someone wakes him up. Jeonghan will murder whoever it is if they won’t leave him alone.</p><p>“Burning the midnight candle again?” A deep voice breaks through his sleepy mind. Jeonghan groans, burying his face into his folded arms. They feel numb under him.</p><p>“Jeonghan, this isn’t your bed,” the idiot says, as if Jeonghan wasn’t aware of it. “Go sleep in your chambers.”</p><p>Frustrated, he refuses to open his eyes, “Make me.”</p><p>The other party sighs, “You would literally kill me in your sleep if I try to move you.”</p><p><em>Sounds about right</em>, Jeonghan thinks triumphantly, only managing a hum in his half-conscious state.</p><p>“I will not mourn for you if you end up freezing to death,” he vaguely hears before a weight is settled on his back. Jeonghan’s nose twitches at the scent of peppermint. It’s warm, inviting.</p><p>He drifts off to sleep with the sound of soft footsteps leaving the room.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan wakes up the next morning with a large cloak draped around his shoulders, covering his cheeks from the morning chill.</p><p>He ignores the overtly familiar scent of peppermint.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>The tournament is a hectic affair, buzzing with muted chatter and a flurry of commotion. Jeonghan naturally finds himself fading into the craze, blending with the crowd of colourful, festive clothing.</p><p>He doesn’t consider himself an extroverted person, but he’s certainly not incapable of social events either. Jeonghan mingles easily with the people around him and indulges in a bit of small talk. He keeps his inner circle close though, which is seen in how he gravitates around Minghao not long after he arrived at the venue.</p><p>They spy on prince Seungcheol from afar, who’s quite engaged by someone else. The man looks just about their age and is lean in figure. He has a delicate demeanour and a grace that is only attained through noble birth.</p><p>“Who’s the gentleman that charmed our prince?” Minghao asks, unfamiliar as he’s a foreigner.</p><p>“That’s…” Jeonghan squints his eyes, not really believing them, “I could be mistaken since it’s been so long, but I think that’s his betrothed. Prince Joshua of the Westin Isles.”</p><p>Minghao whistles under his breath, “I guess I’m surprised but now it all makes sense.”</p><p>The blond man snorts, “What?”</p><p>“Prince Seungcheol is transparent with his feelings, like you,” his friend answers, blunt, “You make it obvious when you’re into someone.”</p><p>Jeonghan rolls his eyes in indignance, “When have you ever seen me being ‘into’ anyone?”</p><p>In a short distance, Jeonghan sees a round of knights clad in their heavy armour. They were preparing their horses in preparation, helping the animals into their barding. He sees a spotted black horse and soon enough, its rider. Mingyu is clutching his helm under one arm, looking magnificent and regal in the iron suit Seungcheol had ordered for him. It shapes his broad shoulders well, tapering into a thin waist and then long, endless legs.</p><p>Jeonghan couldn’t help but gaze at him. The years have really been generous to Mingyu’s appearance. It has transformed the boy’s usually awkward and lanky posture into a gallant knight. His eyes remain bright and starry, something Jeonghan secretly appreciates.</p><p>“I don’t even need to argue,” Minghao sneers, snapping him back to their conversation, “Not when you’re a walking contradiction.”</p><p>Jeonghan’s denial feels futile, but he has no other way of responding, so he does it anyway.</p><p>To open the ceremony, the knights would have to present a beauty of their choice with a rose. It has always been an activity full of second-hand embarrassment, but Jeonghan internally revels at the catharsis of those moments.</p><p>He could see Mingyu being handed a single rose when he’s on top of his horse. His helm is still off, revealing his face for all to see. Jeonghan smirks, silently egging Mingyu on to create cringe-worthy blackmail material. Jeonghan would use it well in the future.</p><p>He wonders just who the unlucky maiden would be.</p><p>At that moment, Mingyu looks up at him. Jeonghan is sitting in the audience, so Mingyu cranes his neck up to see him. Their eyes meet in the beat of a few seconds before Jeonghan turns his face away.</p><p>Mingyu plays with the stem of the rose in his hand, twirling it between his thumb and index fingers.</p><p>He’s entirely oblivious to the audience he’s attracted. A group of girls is standing in front of the barrier near the arena, pinching each other at the thought of being the recipient of his rose.</p><p>“Shouldn’t you be down there too?” prince Seungcheol’s voice said from behind him.</p><p>Surprised, Jeonghan turns around to greet both him and his betrothed. It was then that Jeonghan remembered his significance in today’s event. He claps Minghao on the shoulder.</p><p>“Ah, that’s right!” The blond exclaims, “I have to keep watch on the cloud activity in case of rain… I better go down there then. I can’t see very well under all this shade.”</p><p>“That’s not what I mean-” Seungcheol stops himself once Jeonghan is already out of reach, “He’s ridiculous.”</p><p>Minghao shakes his head, sharing an exasperated look with the prince.</p><p>“You shouldn’t have hired the jesters, my prince,” Minghao says, “It seems like we’ll be having free entertainment today.”</p><p>Jeonghan is surrounded by a flock of maidens as soon as he’s near the barrier. He can only excuse himself politely, squeezing in between some of the girls as he stands right under the sunny sky. He looks up and spots a few clouds floating around, thankfully not enough to produce a drizzle.</p><p>The winds are mild today, he notes as it brushes through his loose hair. He’d let it down today, braided back as a result of letting Minghao play with it earlier. It’s kind of nice to not have it falling in his eyes like this. Okay, he might even consider this an upgraded look.</p><p>His attention is diverted once more when the flower presenting begins. A knight has ridden up with this horse towards a pretty girl. She’s a glamorous sort of beauty with a demure attitude to match. Jeonghan reckons she’ll be receiving a lot of flowers today.</p><p>Watching the interaction, Jeonghan can’t help but clench his hands. He can’t even imagine being at the receiving end of those roses. How nerve-wracking!</p><p>Without him realising it, a shadow suddenly stands over him. It isn’t until he hears a few squeaks of surprise around him that he realises.</p><p>Mingyu is sitting tall on his horse as he looks over them. From his position, the sun is hidden behind Mingyu’s head, creating the impression of a halo around him. He looks as if he’s leaped out of some romance novel, ready to rescue his damsel in distress.</p><p>Jeonghan looks at the women around him, trying to guess who’d caught Mingyu’s eyes.</p><p>Strangely, he thinks none of them would be of the knight’s standards, even though Mingyu usually lacks taste anyways. He couldn’t help but think that the other can certainly do better.</p><p>When Mingyu spends a hot minute just sitting there staring, Jeonghan turns antsy. Why is he looking at him like that? Like… like he’s holding back his words. Since when had Kim Mingyu ever kept his mouth shut?</p><p>Mingyu gets off his horse and jumps over the barrier, earning teasing whispers from the audience.</p><p>Surprisingly, he turns shy at all the attention and stiffens into a statue, awkwardly holding his rose in a vice grip. Seeing this, Jeonghan snorts.</p><p>“What’s taking so long, good sir?” He taunts, hoping to lift the stuffy atmosphere around them, “All you have to do is give the rose to the fairest one you see,” Jeonghan gestures at the circle of hopeful girls surrounding him, “it’s not that hard.”</p><p>Mingyu looks him down for a minute, seeming to weigh his options before giving in. He steps forwards, closing in on Jeonghan.</p><p>“No. It’s not.”</p><p>Mingyu looks down at the flower in his hands as his hands break off the lower part of the stem, leaving only a short stem near the red blooming bud. He looks up and brings it up to Jeonghan’s face.</p><p>Before Jeonghan could react, Mingyu’s already slipping the rose behind the blond’s ear.</p><p>When it catches up to him, Jeonghan feels his face warm up with colour. Suddenly he feels as if he’d lost his senses. The tips of his fingers turn cold.</p><p>Butterflies rampage through his guts, fluttering their wings up his abdomen and pushing softly against his diaphragm. He thinks he might actually suffocate this way.</p><p>“H-how dare you…” he mutters under his breath, fearful that he might cause a scene, “What’s the meaning of this?”</p><p>Mingyu huffs, seeming reserved, “You’d said it yourself, didn’t you? I’m giving it to the fairest one.”</p><p>“Kim Mingyu, be serious!” Jeonghan hears his heart pounding in his ears, “You can’t… don’t joke around now…”</p><p>“I can’t joke about it even if I wanted to,” Mingyu retorts, recovering some of his bratty quality as he relaxes, “Because it’s true.”</p><p>Jeonghan stares at him like he’s grown another head. Is Kim Mingyu… possessed?</p><p>Why else would he act like this?</p><p>To say that Jeonghan, a <em>man</em>, somehow outshines the striking beauties that exist within the kingdom… Is he not mocking him?</p><p>Mingyu takes one look at his baffled expression and chuckles to himself, amused.</p><p>“I’m serious. I’m going to win this one for you.”</p><p>Jeonghan sends him a blank look, not knowing how to respond. In the end, he merely nods in a rigid manner.</p><p>He’s back to Minghao’s side not long after, still trying to recover from the shock. Seungcheol repeatedly fails to contain his teasing laughter at what just happened.</p><p>“Solid entertainment,” Seungcheol wipes a tear from the corner of his eyes, “Even before the jousting begins… You were right Minghao! I better dismiss the jesters. I might die from laughter.”</p><p>Jeonghan wants to second his friend’s suggestion, but he holds it in as it would be treason to wish death upon his prince.</p><p>Fuck you, Kim Mingyu.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>Mingyu does end up victorious, but not without a couple of injuries.</p><p>One, where a lance hits right into his shoulder, making him lose points.</p><p>Two, when he and another knight knocked each other off their horses.</p><p>Three, in which his shield redirected the lance but instead it hit Mingyu’s thigh. The other party had lost points.</p><p>Jeonghan has been keeping score, keen on the current points gained and lost by each knight. If he pays more attention than necessary to Mingyu, he tells himself that it’s because he’s Prince Seungcheol’s knight. Nothing more, nothing less.</p><p>Definitely nothing more.</p><p>Jeonghan tucks the rose in the valley between his braids. Minghao sends him a knowing smile.</p><p>He excuses himself as they near the end of the festivities. All the knights have been transported to the wards to get properly examined for injuries. Jeonghan is certain they would need a couple more helping hands.</p><p>As soon as he arrives, he spots a certain wounded man.</p><p>Mingyu sticks out with his height like a sore thumb. Even while sitting down on the sickbeds, his posture is tall and upright. When he sees Jeonghan, his face breaks into a small smile.</p><p>“Some winner you make,” Jeonghan quips as soon as he’s within hearing range, “Bruised and tattered up. Was it worth the ego?”</p><p>“You wound me,” Mingyu plays along, “Did you throw the rose away?”</p><p>Under his nonchalance was something smaller and insecure. Something Jeonghan would rather not think about than deal with right now.</p><p>He scoffs and turns around to get some balm. If Mingyu had seen the rose settled between his braids, Jeonghan hadn’t planned on it. He looks over his shoulder and sees the other man’s dazed expression. Mingyu barely blinks as he gazes at him, a hint of wonder in his expressive eyes.</p><p>Jeonghan feels a pitter-patter in his chest.</p><p>“It looks nice,” Mingyu lets out smartly.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s pretty.” Jeonghan says, flustered.</p><p>“… Yeah.”</p><p>Something is weird with the air around them– It’s taking the breath out of his lungs. Jeonghan coughs out to dispel it.</p><p>“Why did you…” Jeonghan pauses to rephrase, “Did you do it to embarrass me?”</p><p>Mingyu’s eyes grow wide like saucers, “What? No!”</p><p>“Really? Because I could name a few other people who <em>actually</em> deserve that rose! Receiving it instead of them it’s… it’s humiliating.”</p><p>Mingyu frowns, “Do I embarrass you? Is that it?”</p><p>Jeonghan feels his eye twitch at that. That’s not what he wanted to say at all, but yet again Kim Mingyu twists his words, making him the bad guy again. “I know it’s hard to believe, but not everything is about you Mingyu.”</p><p>“No, of course it’s not,” the taller man spits out, “Because you’re the one who’s humiliated.”</p><p>“I never said –”</p><p>Mingyu’s expression is one of bitter indignation and… hurt? Jeonghan forces himself to face the other way.</p><p>“I’m sorry if I’m embarrassing,” he says, “I don’t even know why I gave it to you.”</p><p>Unexpectedly, Jeonghan feels empty as he listens to those words. He’s lived long enough to know what disappointment feels like. It’s one of those moments.</p><p>“Why did you give it to me, then?” He lashes out, not able to control the tone of his voice anymore. Mingyu looks up at him, stunned. Jeonghan barely even registers the pool of tears collecting in the corners of his eyes. He doesn’t feel it drop down when he blinks. “Why… when it could’ve been anyone else?”</p><p>“Why did I expect anything?”</p><p>As soon as the words escape his mouth, Jeonghan wishes he knew a spell that could take them right back. This is a mess. He doesn’t even know why he said that to Mingyu. It would only embarrass him further since now the other would know just how much this had affected him.</p><p>He’s never had anyone made him feel this way; like he only has a second to breathe in before diving deep into the ocean. Jeonghan never had someone who made him wonder what it was like to drown. To let go.</p><p>He is premature in all aspects of having relationships. He’s an orphan, so he doesn’t even have the basic foundation of love from a parent. Seungcheol and his family are the closest things he has to that, but they were always on an unreachable platform from where he stands. They were nobility and he was under their service.</p><p>So being thrust into this sudden whirlwind of feelings and being expected to decipher what they could mean, Jeonghan can only panic.</p><p>“Jeonghan…” Mingyu speaks after a long stretch of silence, “You were the only one that came to mind. I couldn’t think of giving the flower to anyone else.”</p><p>Mingyu still stands with that thought. He studies the way Jeonghan’s wet eyes glimmer under the lights, how his long hair falls loosely from its braid, and the subtle flush above his high cheekbones. Jeonghan truly is breathtaking.</p><p>“How could you be embarrassed?” He asks, earnest with his words, “You’re so beautiful.”</p><p>“Why are you suddenly saying this?” Jeonghan shakes away the fuzzy feeling in his chest, still suspicious, “You hate me.”</p><p>Mingyu scratches the back of his head, a bit of that shyness returning. “I’ve always known you were handsome… even from the first time that we met. I teased you too much, was too eager to befriend you. It was you who disliked me right away.”</p><p>Re-enacting the memories in his head, Jeonghan realised that he had indeed snapped out first. Back then, he hadn’t known Mingyu’s teasing behaviour was just a childish act to befriend him.</p><p>“Can you really not stand me?” Mingyu asks, almost pleadingly, “What you said before… What were you expecting?”</p><p>Jeonghan finds himself suddenly incapable of speech. He can only hear Minghao saying ‘You make it obvious when you’re into someone’ over and over in his mind. If he really is that obvious, then why can’t Mingyu see it? Why couldn’t he just read into him and tell him the answers?</p><p>Does Jeonghan really have to learn this himself?</p><p>“I don’t know,” he whispers finally, blinking back the tears that sting his eyes. He doesn’t cry often. “I don’t know what to expect.”</p><p>Mingyu searches his expression for signs of rejection or dislike, yet he finds none. Encouraged by this small discovery, he stands closer to Jeonghan, meeting his eye-level when he slightly nods his head downwards.</p><p>Slowly, a hand settles on the curve of Jeonghan’s jaw, tilting his head up.</p><p>Mingyu gives it time to sink in. Both for himself and Jeonghan. He’s unsure of how to proceed.</p><p>“Perhaps… this?” he questions, feeling the other’s breath against his.</p><p>Jeonghan doesn’t move away, doesn’t cower. He faces it head-on like every other thing in his life. With both of his hands cradling Mingyu’s face, he guides their lips closer and closer until they’re joined, warmth pressing softly against his mouth.</p><p>They linger in that position, both new and inexperienced as they familiarise themselves with each other. Jeonghan feels Mingyu’s eyelashes on his cheek and presses more firmly onto his lips, feeling it being reciprocated soon after. The two share small kisses, each filled with excitement and care. Jeonghan’s heart swells as he feels Mingyu gnaw playfully onto his bottom lip.</p><p>From behind him, Mingyu’s hand reaches for the rose in his hair. He plucks it out and brings it in front of Jeonghan’s face once they part. They silently look at it, smiling a little for no exact reason. They were just content.</p><p>“It’s for you,” Mingyu says, a foolish kind of determination in his eyes, “It’s not a joke. Not an excuse either. It was meant for you and it always will be. I like you, Yoon Jeonghan.”</p><p>If he had an out-of-body experience and was witnessing this as an outsider, he would’ve cringed at this scene, but because he’s a part of it and Kim Mingyu is the one confessing to <em>him</em>– Jeonghan says, “I like you too, fool.”</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. growing pains</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"It seems I must always write you letters that I can never send." —Sylvia Plath</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“His Highness <em>cannot</em> know,” Jeonghan stresses, letting Mingyu drape himself over him like an overly heavy coat. The latter hums curiously, his chin still resting on Jeonghan’s shoulder.</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>The sorcerer sighs, “If he finds out that we… that <em>I</em>…” he almost bites his own tongue trying to say it aloud, “He’d never let me hear the end of it!”</p><p>Thoroughly amused, Mingyu’s lips curl up into a smile, “Cheol would be happy for us. If we tell him, I’ll ask him to take it easy on the teasing.”</p><p>Affronted, Jeonghan rejects the idea immediately, the pale skin of his cheeks turning red. He shrugs Mingyu off and makes him swear on his life to keep it a secret for now.</p><p>It turns out that both of them are terrible at keeping said secret.</p><p>While Mingyu keeps on pulling him to the empty palace hallways to snog, Jeonghan is no better with his lingering glances at Mingyu whenever they’re together.</p><p>It’s too easy to reach out and have Mingyu laughing against his ear, to have him bite his lips and pretend to be mad at him for it later.</p><p>It’s too easy for them to get caught.</p><p>“It’s been brought to my attention that we have a rat problem,” Seungcheol says to him no longer than a month later, “The palace maids have reported to hear some scuffling in the library yesterday.”</p><p>Jeonghan freezes, a white chess piece clutched in his hand, “The library?” He continues after a pause, placing his queen down onto a tile. Mingyu had cornered him yesterday when Jeonghan wanted to return a book. He should’ve known it was a bad idea.</p><p>“Yes,” Seungcheol smirks, taking one of Jeonghan’s soldiers as he advances with his bishop, “It was quite an affair too from what I heard.”</p><p>Jeonghan glares at his friend, not appreciating the teasing. “How unfortunate. We ought to clean the library soon.”</p><p>Not being able to focus on the game anymore, Jeonghan continues to move his queen forward.</p><p>“Well then I would need to order a thorough cleaning for the pantry too, it seems,” he mentions, moving his knight near his bishop, “I’ve gotten a few complaints of something making quite the racket.”</p><p>Jeonghan pales at the memory of kissing Mingyu against the pantry cabinets, knocking off a few apples from their basket.</p><p>“Huh… strange…” he mutters distractedly, moving one of his white pieces wherever.</p><p>“Would you know anything about this?” The prince questions. He makes his turn and smiles.</p><p>Jeonghan feels his mouth dry, “Hmm? No… No one’s brought this up to me before.”</p><p>“Jeonghan?”</p><p>He sighs, hating the way his hair sticks to his neck from the sweat. “Yes?”</p><p>Seungcheol smiles, “Checkmate.”</p><p>Surprised, Jeonghan looks down at the board to see his king surrounded by Seungcheol’s bishop, knight, and king pieces. He curses in his head. Does he have to be so obvious?</p><p>“How did you know?” Jeonghan concedes, burying his face into his palms. He’s never going to live this down.</p><p>The prince laughs, but not unkindly, “Minghao saw the two of you in the garden’s labyrinth a few weeks ago. The poor guy was only there to read, Jeonghan.”</p><p>“Shit,” Jeonghan blurts out, “I forgot it was his reading spot. <em>Shit</em>.”</p><p>“No, we get it. You were trying to be subtle.”</p><p>The blond groans, a wave of embarrassment and self-loathing crashing through him. “Who else knows?”</p><p>“Well, others would be…” Seungcheol glances up in thought, “Minghao, Jisoo…”</p><p>“Prince Joshua?!” Jeonghan almost screams, knowing Jisoo is the name Seungcheol had lovingly given to his betrothed as a symbol of welcome to their kingdom.</p><p>Seungcheol tries to contain his laughter for what is left of his friend’s pride. “He kind of guessed it as soon as Mingyu gave you that rose.”</p><p>“That’s it. I’m going to kill Mingyu, then myself.”</p><p>“Don’t, I’m happy to see you both finally get along,” Seungcheol coaxes him to sit back down, “Although I never would’ve imagined this, but I’ll take it over your bickering any day.”</p><p>“You look happier, Han,” he says again, “I’m glad.”</p><p>Not expecting the fondness, Jeonghan is quite taken aback. Seungcheol has been nothing but supportive in anything he decides to do and Jeonghan berates himself for ever doubting that. This is his prince; his best friend.</p><p>“Thank you, Seungcheol.”</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>“Where’s Chan?” Minghao asks him as he enters the study with his snake familiar. “Jun needs company.”</p><p>“Mingyu’s watching him,” The senior sorcerer mutters, not taking his eyes off his book.</p><p>He’d expected Minghao to reply, but when all he earns is silence, Jeonghan turns his head around to see what has happened. The red-haired man is standing unusually still as he stares at him.</p><p>Jeonghan shrugs, “What?”</p><p>“You’re getting attached.”</p><p>Jeonghan scoffs at the idea, “Yeah well, we’re together now so it’s not that surprising.”</p><p>Minghao shakes his head, “No, Jeonghan. I’m talking about your spiritual core. If Chan is already so familiar with him, you might get too attached.”</p><p>“And what damage will that do?” He asks, just a tad defensive.</p><p>Confounded at his reaction, Minghao blinks slowly, “I’m just saying that if something were to happen to Mingyu,” he lowers his voice as he continues carefully, “It could affect the stability of your magic. I’d slow down if I were you.”</p><p>“What are you implying?” Jeonghan feels something tick inside him, making him want to lash out and protect Mingyu. Protect his one chance at happiness, “Is something going to happen to him?”</p><p>“Didn’t you hear?”</p><p>The ugly feeling inside of Jeonghan is manifesting into an actual form of fear. “What is it?”</p><p>Minghao’s grave expression makes him look like a bearer of bad news.</p><p>“Your king has declared a war.”</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe you’ve convinced me into doing this,” Mingyu grumbles from behind him, almost whining even.</p><p>Jeonghan doesn’t let go of the latter’s hand and trudges on through the wide, open field. Heavy clouds hang lowly in the skies that day, ready for a downpour at any given time. He hugs the glass jars in his arms as he urges Mingyu to walk faster.</p><p>“I wouldn’t have asked you if you weren’t so tall.”</p><p>Mingyu pouts angrily at him, mood soured, “So now it’s <em>my</em> fault that I’m tall? Why not blame everything on me?”</p><p>Jeonghan raises a hand to cup Mingyu’s cheeks, squishing it a little under his palms, “No, I’m saying that I’m only asking you ‘cause you’re so tall and dependable. It’s an advantage of being with you.”</p><p>He watches expectantly as the anger in Mingyu’s eyes soften into something more subdued. Jeonghan can’t believe all he had to do was say some sweet things to appease the young knight. It’s so simple and it works like a charm too.</p><p>If he’d known earlier, they wouldn’t have fought so much!</p><p>As a matter of fact, Jeonghan could definitely have sacrificed more of his pride if it meant Kim Mingyu would be wrapped around his little finger like this. It’s really so comfortable.</p><p>“How am I supposed to do this?” Mingyu holds onto the glass jars as Jeonghan is busied with drawing runes onto the ground.</p><p>“All you need to do is stand here,” Jeonghan gestures at the circular shape he just etched onto the dirt, “and wait for the lightning strikes to start. I’ll do all the technical stuff so don’t worry too much about that.”</p><p>Mingyu mutters out a dispirited ‘yippee’ behind Jeonghan’s back. Dreading the lack of safety precautions within the process. What can he do anyway; it’s the purest form of magic. Jeonghan wouldn’t let them tamper with any of the steps if he had any say in it.</p><p>Well if Jeonghan wants a lightning bolt, Mingyu’s going to catch him one.</p><p>“Come on, get in the circle. Quick.” Jeonghan instructs, holding onto one of Mingyu’s hand to lead him in. Mingyu opens one of the jars and tries calming himself down.</p><p>
  <em>Jeonghan won’t let me die, Jeonghan won’t let me die, Jeonghan won’t– </em>
</p><p>“Mingyu… I like you a lot. I just thought you should hear it.”</p><p>
  <em>Would he?</em>
</p><p>“Wait, why would you say that now–”</p><p>Jeonghan merely smiles and plants a brief kiss on his cheek. Warmth blooms onto Mingyu’s skin.</p><p>Just then, the first lightning strikes somewhere in the distance. Jeonghan quickly steels himself, in which the same can’t be said for poor Mingyu. “You got this baby, just hold my hand.”</p><p>Hearing Jeonghan calling him with a pet name is proven to be sufficient distraction because sooner than later, Mingyu’s holding up the jar above his head with one hand. His other hand is held firmly between Jeonghan’s. The sorcerer is now muttering a few incantations, the ancient language sounding like gibberish to Mingyu’s ears.</p><p>It was a flash of blinding light when it strikes down onto him. Mingyu holds on, ignores the deafening sound of untamed fire cracking through the air; loud and intruding.</p><p>Jeonghan’s voice becomes clearer and clearer after the lighting is contained. Mingyu squints up to see the bright light within the glass jars. His eyes hurt after a while and so he closes them back. Jeonghan is still saying out incantations and slowly he feels the weight lift off his palm.</p><p>The glass jars lined with magic are floating in the air. Jeonghan pulls out two crystal pendants and as soon as he says another command, the bits of lightning shoot from within the jars into the crystals. The sorcerer stumbles back from the impact but is not harmed.</p><p>“What… what are those for?” Mingyu asks, curious eyes following the movement of the lightning fragments as they bounce within the crystal pendants.</p><p>Jeonghan seems quite pleased with his work, raising them up for him to inspect.</p><p>“I’ve told you before; lightning is an unbridled form of magical energy. It can be contained though, as you can see. One lightning strike is one singular, powerful energy. Even if I separate them into two pendants like these, they’re still connected in a way that makes them one entity.”</p><p>“That’s… cool?”</p><p>Jeonghan sighs at the other’s clueless face, “Lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice, Mingyu. I guess I’m saying that’s what I’m hoping for. In my life, I’ve never liked someone in this way before and… and I’m hoping I would never like anyone else like this ever again.”</p><p>“That’s for me?” Mingyu asks softly, his eyes zero in on the item in Jeonghan’s hand and he feels his throat constrict.</p><p>He didn’t know Jeonghan thought too much about them, but the hopeful look on his face says differently. It’s a promise.</p><p>“I mean… only if you want to. Of course.” Jeonghan adds, wavering, “It’s also pretty useful. Once it syncs to our spiritual energy, we would be able to sense the wearer of the other pendant even if we’re really far away. But yeah, it’s up to you.”</p><p>“I… Jeonghan…” Mingyu tries saying before his voice breaks, “Are you kidding me? Of course!”</p><p>The sorcerer visibly sags in relief, “Oh thank heavens. They were quite the trouble to get so I’d be <em>pissed</em> if you said no.”</p><p>“…Wasn’t I the one who caught them?” Mingyu points out.</p><p>“Hey, I did all the brain-work,” Jeonghan reasons, “Believe it or not, it’s way more complicated and tiring.”</p><p>The taller man spares a second to look at him, noticing the worn-out expression on Jeonghan’s face. He does look more tired than usual, which is really bad because Jeonghan’s almost always tired. The fact that he did all that for both of them made Mingyu melt into a gooey puddle of emotions.</p><p>“Thank you,” He says into his ears, engulfing Jeonghan into the warmest hug he can manage, “I love it. Thank you.”</p><p>Jeonghan all but sinks into his chest, “That’s good. I’m glad.”</p><p>“Oh,”</p><p>Mingyu looks down at the other’s face, still smushed against his chest. “What is it, baby?”</p><p>The coldness in Jeonghan’s eyes could pierce through his soul, “If I see you taking it off, you’re dead,”</p><p>“…Understood.”</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan looks out of the window of his study. The troops are being dispatched to their bases.</p><p>He sees the knights prepare to leave on their horses and remembers his conversation with Mingyu the other day.</p><p>“Would you see me off?” The taller man had asked.</p><p>Jeonghan thought about it and then shook his head solemnly, “I think it’s best if I don’t.”</p><p>Mingyu understood and only drew him closer, admiring Jeonghan’s features from up close while he still could.</p><p>“I’ll write to you.”</p><p>Jeonghan closes his eyes and lets his fingers latch onto Mingyu’s white, flowy shirt, “Don’t.”</p><p>Hearing that, Mingyu bent down to sneak a kiss onto his closed eyes, “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yes,” Jeonghan sighed out, barely keeping himself together, “Just come back to me when it’s all over.”</p><p>Mingyu laughed softly, “Of course. Where else is my home if not with you?”</p><p>“You’re a knight, not a poet,” He rolled his eyes, “Knock it off.”</p><p>Now that Mingyu’s not there to see him break down, he finally does. Jeonghan stares out of the window, eyes searching for Mingyu’s tall figure.</p><p>Chan has perched on the window sill next to him, anxiously rubbing his cheek up Jeonghan’s hip. His familiar senses his distress and is trying its best to calm him down. Jeonghan could only bite his bottom lip to stop them from quivering.</p><p>When he finally sees Mingyu, he’s ready to leave with his squire carrying his gear. Jeonghan touches the crystal pendant on his chest, filled with a sense of longing. It’s ridiculous; Mingyu hasn’t even left yet.</p><p>As if he could feel Jeonghan staring at him, Mingyu looks up at the castle to search for the other. Once he sees Jeonghan in his private study, the knight waves up at him.</p><p>Chan meows back. Jeonghan doesn’t know how to respond.</p><p>Sending him one last smile, Mingyu reaches for his own crystal pendant and kisses it with reverence. Jeonghan can almost hear him say it.</p><p>
  <em>Wait for me. I’ll come back.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>A month without letters.</p><p>Jeonghan only hears what he knows from talking to Seungcheol, which is not much. Seungcheol doesn’t have time to dawdle about now that the kingdom is at war.</p><p>Prince Joshua is staying at the palace as a sign of their alliance. He’s aided them both in food and military supplies. Belonging to a kingdom mostly known for their navy, Prince Joshua has sent a force of battleships to defend their surrounding seas from invaders.</p><p>“Please, just call me Jisoo,” he says kindly to Jeonghan.</p><p>“If Your Highness wishes it,” the blond says.</p><p>Jisoo gives him a playful glare at his cheeky answer and Jeonghan feels a genuine smile lift up his lips. It’s been a while since he felt so relaxed.</p><p>For another month, Jisoo proves himself to be amazing company. As soon as he learns that they’re the same age, he treats Jeonghan like an extension of his family. He truly was grateful for the companionship because he might lose it if he has to go on without talking to anyone.</p><p>Seungcheol is busied by state affairs while Minghao is assisting some of the dispatched troops with his magic. He’s mastered self-defence and attack spells well enough to be recruited as the line of defence.</p><p>Jeonghan just wants them to come home safe.</p><p>“Sir, we have received news from the front.” A messenger says to Seungcheol, breaking the quiet of Jeonghan’s study. They’d been eating lunch together with Jisoo before the interruption.</p><p>Seungcheol stands up, “What is it?”</p><p>“We were able to ambush them from the northeast side, so they were cornered into surrender.”</p><p>“Is my father leading the troops back home as we speak?”</p><p>The messenger nods, “It should take the main forces a two days’ journey to return, but since the ambush troops suffered greater damage, it might take them three to five days to reach our lands.”</p><p>Not being able to mask his worry, Jeonghan asks, “How bad is the damage?”</p><p>Seungcheol glances anxiously at him, knowing just as well that Mingyu is the one leading the ambush operation. Jisoo rests a hand on top of Jeonghan’s to quell down his fear.</p><p>“We have lost about 20 men in battle and a total of 280 are injured.”</p><p>Seungcheol feels his legs weaken, “There were only 500 men in the ambush plan.”</p><p>The messenger hangs his head solemnly in reply, excusing himself from the crown prince’s presence.</p><p>Jeonghan is numb all over, trying to stop his mind from racing to all the worst conclusions. He shuts all negative possibilities and forces himself to hold onto hope. Twenty out of five hundred are dead. That means 480 men are still alive. The odds are in his favour.</p><p>There’s still hope.</p><p>“I’m going to write to my father,” Seungcheol hastily relays as he leaves the sorcerer’s study.</p><p>Jisoo watches him leave and stays behind with Jeonghan, still holding his hand in silent comfort.</p><p>“Mingyu promised you he’ll return,” Jisoo says, somehow more confident than Jeonghan himself, “We just have to wait.”</p><p>Jeonghan closes his eyes and feels a tear shake its way down his cheek. It only takes the realisation that he was crying for him to completely break, rivulets of tears running down his face.</p><p><em>I’m waiting. Please come home</em>.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>Four days later, Jeonghan wakes up to someone’s hand on his cheek.</p><p>He has been waiting restlessly these past few days, sleeping only when he passes out from fatigue since he wants to be awake when the soldiers return. Seungcheol has freed him from his duties after an incident where a sleepy Jeonghan almost fell into a pot of acid in the potions room.</p><p>“Why aren’t you sleeping on the bed?” a gentle voice asks.</p><p>Startled into a fully conscious state, Jeonghan’s eyes turn wide. He looks at the person in front of him, at the handsome smile and disheveled hair. This person he can call his own.</p><p>Immediately, he pulls Mingyu into his arms. Jeonghan almost cries at the feeling of warmth surrounding him, burying his face into Mingyu’s broad chest.</p><p>He stops when Mingyu lets out a pained wince.</p><p>“You… where are you hurt?” Jeonghan half-yells, livid from being kept oblivious to Mingyu’s condition.</p><p>Mingyu smiles– it looks more like a grimace, “My chest is bandaged.”</p><p>Jeonghan was going to hit him playfully out of habit, then stops himself. He clears his throat, feeling the unwanted tears sting the back of his eyes. “You should’ve told me then…” he mutters, not letting Mingyu go, “Why didn’t you go to a healer?”</p><p>The knight gives him a little smirk, “I’m doing that right now,” he says, brushing Jeonghan’s hair back, “Did you miss me?”</p><p>“You can’t ask me that,” the sorcerer sighs, “it’s cruel.”</p><p>“I miss you.”</p><p>Jeonghan feels like his heart is being squeezed, painfully so as he listens to those words. He looks up at Mingyu’s calm, dark eyes and lets himself get lulled into this sense of security Mingyu always carries around with him.</p><p>“Say it again,” Jeonghan requests.</p><p>Mingyu’s eyes glisten as he complies with the other’s wishes, “Jeonghan, baby, I miss you.”</p><p>Jeonghan watches, heartbroken, as this strong, tall man cries into his touch. Mingyu is shaking in his arms, silently trembling as his arms wrap around the blond’s back, holding him tight. He could only imagine what Mingyu has gone through, so Jeonghan says nothing as he lets him cry.</p><p>He guides Mingyu to his bed, lowering him down so he would sit on the edge. Mingyu is still breathing irregularly, so Jeonghan holds him for a bit longer than necessary.</p><p>“I need to open your bandages, Gyu,” he whispers between them, “Will you be alright?”</p><p>Mingyu nods mutely, his breathing calmer now that they’ve settled down.</p><p>Jeonghan unbuttons the other’s dirty shirt, sliding it off Mingyu’s grimy skin. Now that he sees it, Mingyu needs a bath first and foremost. Jeonghan too, since he’d literally rubbed himself all over the guy.</p><p>When he takes off his bandages, Jeonghan gasps as he sees a swollen bruise right on Mingyu’s left lower rib.</p><p>“What on earth happened?” he asks, inspecting the injury.</p><p>Mingyu sighs tiredly, “Some guy swung his club at me. Knocked me off my horse.”</p><p>“You wore a steel armour,” Jeonghan mumbles mostly to himself, “How did it get this bad?”</p><p>“Armours don’t protect you from much in the battlefield,” Mingyu patiently indulges his question, “It protects you from targeted combat, but when you’re in the pit it’s just… a mess of people trying to make it out alive.”</p><p>He looks at Mingyu’s hardened expression, wishing to share and lessen his pain. Jeonghan stands up to look for his healing potions. He returns with several vials in hand.</p><p>“Drink,” he urges Mingyu as he opens up the first vial, “It’ll make sure you recuperate faster.”</p><p>Mingyu does so obediently, consuming all the potions Jeonghan gives him. He looks at the discoloured torso and moves his hand to rest it lightly on top. He concentrates on focusing his energy, mending the internal damage in Mingyu’s body.</p><p>When he’s finished, Mingyu looks less in pain. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>Mingyu shrugs, lethargic from the painkiller, “Better now.”</p><p>“Let’s get you cleaned up.”</p><p>They make their way to the washroom, where Jeonghan fills his tub with warm water. Mingyu watches him silently, wiping his tears when they unknowingly slip out. Jeonghan doesn’t comment on it, but instead swirls his arm around in the water, using a spell to make the water nice and fragrant.</p><p>He helps Mingyu take his clothes off and guides him to the tub. Jeonghan’s eyes trail down the length of muscles that make up the other man and blushes, finding it absurd that he can have such kind of thoughts at this time.</p><p>“Can you wash your own hair?” Jeonghan asks, eyes flitting at the injuries on his skin, “Try holding your arm up.”</p><p>Mingyu tries and winces as soon as he stretches his arm upwards. “Sorry.”</p><p>Jeonghan snorts, “It’s fine. I’ll help.”</p><p>He makes Mingyu rest his head on the edge of the tub before reaching for some shampoo. Mingyu is pliant under his touch, letting Jeonghan move him this way and that as he washes him. Jeonghan tilts Mingyu’s head back so he could rinse the suds in his hair and their eyes meet.</p><p>Mingyu breathes out slowly, “Why don’t you join me?”</p><p>Jeonghan chokes on air, “I… uhh…”</p><p>“I don’t mean anything by it,” Mingyu reassures, which does nothing to Jeonghan’s internal panic, “I just wanna be closer to you, that’s all.”</p><p>Jeonghan closes his eyes and reprimands himself for having indecent thoughts. Mingyu’s innocent request shouldn’t be taken advantage of… but Jeonghan is just a man with needs.</p><p>“One moment,” he steps back from Mingyu’s hair and proceeds to awkwardly walk back into a corner in the bathroom. Thinking of very, <em>very</em> sad and horrible things, Jeonghan starts to undress. It’s not his proudest moment.</p><p>
  <em>Dead puppies… dead puppies…</em>
</p><p>Once he’s also undressed, Jeonghan joins Mingyu to soak himself inside the tub. It’s a tight fit with both of them in there and Jeonghan somehow finds himself caged between Mingyu’s muscular thighs. He relaxes, trying to enjoy the warmth of the water and not let his mind wander to… anywhere else.</p><p>“Come here,” Mingyu says, opening his arms in an invite. Jeonghan looks at it nervously for a few seconds before nodding in response. He moves through the water and leans his back carefully against Mingyu’s chest.</p><p>“Jeonghan?”</p><p>He hums a question in response, feeling Mingyu nuzzle into the curve of his neck.</p><p>“What would you have done if I hadn’t come back?”</p><p>Jeonghan stays silent at the unexpected question. It’s not like he thinks about it a lot, he actually thinks about it too much. Mingyu has chosen this path for himself though, so Jeonghan couldn’t force him to abandon his dream for his own sake.</p><p>“Don’t you think I’d make a hot grieving widow?” Jeonghan deflects the question with humour, not really wanting to answer it.</p><p>Mingyu snorts next to his ear, strangely amused at his dark humour, “I can’t make you a widow if we’re not even wed.”</p><p>Jeonghan smiles mischievously, “Surely, we can arrange that?”</p><p>Mingyu turns quiet behind him. Suddenly, Jeonghan feels him holding him tighter. He remembers Mingyu’s injuries and chides, “Be careful! Doesn’t it hurt?”</p><p>“Should we get married?”</p><p>It’s Jeonghan’s turn to be silent. He twists around to face Mingyu and gapes, surprised by the sudden proposal. The knight is looking back at him with a look of adoration and devotion. There’s also a hint of anxiety underlying his speech when he says, “When I was out there fighting for my life, all I could think about was you. I thought of coming back home to you, growing old with you. I didn’t… I didn’t want to die without at least seeing your face for one last time. Fuck, Jeonghan I know it sounds crazy and this really came out of nowhere but I don’t want to die with any regrets…”</p><p>Clearly, Mingyu is still shaken by what had happened. Jeonghan takes the other’s hands in his.</p><p>“You’re not going to die,” He starts gently, making sure the other believes his words, “Listen to me, I won’t let you go so easily. Okay?”</p><p>Mingyu nods, his gaze directed at their joined palms.</p><p>Jeonghan breathes in, “I won’t let you die with regrets, Mingyu. I want to all of those things you just said and more, but even if I do want all of that for us, I want you to be okay first,” he reaches up to bump their noses, stealing light kisses as he does, “I want you to ask me that question out of happiness, not from fear.”</p><p>Mingyu contemplates his answer for a while. He plays with Jeonghan’s slowly pruning fingers.</p><p>“If I say it then, would you say yes?”</p><p>Jeonghan laughs brightly, “Why don’t you find out for yourself?”</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>The next few days are spent in a joyous celebration.</p><p>The kingdom is no longer at threat and their soldiers had come home victorious in battle. The king and queen had held a gala dinner, opening the invite to everyone in the country. Jeonghan, who’d never been a fan of crowds, was flustered by the waves of people attending.</p><p>He decides to leave the occasion early, much to the dismay of prince Jisoo, who is unable to sneak out. He’s an honoured guest after all.</p><p>“Jeonghan, don’t leave, what am I going to do without you?” Jisoo’s hold on his arm is like a vice-grip.</p><p>Jeonghan gestures at prince Seungcheol, who’s handling the situation better than any of them, “Take his lead and mingle.”</p><p>“You can’t be mean to me,” Jisoo full-on pouts, reminding Jeonghan of his own face when he pouts. Their features are eerily similar sometimes. “I’m leaving in a few days, Hannie, you have to treat me nicely.”</p><p>“You’re leaving?” The news came as a surprise to him.</p><p>Jisoo chuckles at his dumbfounded face, “What, did you think I’d be staying here forever?” he chuckles, “I have my own kingdom to rule.”</p><p>Still processing the information, Jeonghan is a bit sad to see him go. Jisoo has been his confidant over the past few months. The prince went out of his way to make sure Jeonghan is okay and treats him just as well (if not, better) as Seungcheol does.</p><p>“You could come back with me if you want,” Jisoo’s face turns radiant at the idea, “I’ll show you around my kingdom!”</p><p>Jeonghan blinks at the suggestion. He’d never given much thought on traveling since he usually can’t afford the time.</p><p>“Can I really?” he asks, not wanting to sound too hopeful.</p><p>“Of course!” Jisoo beams at him, the edges of his lips in a cat-like curl, “I’ll ask Seungcheol to arrange it if you want.”</p><p>He realises belatedly that when Jisoo wants, he’ll make the whole world move around to get it for him.</p><p>It doesn’t take much of an argument for Jeonghan to be included in Jisoo’s returning entourage. Seungcheol had thought it would be a nice break for him and Mingyu insisted he needed to take the week off. Jisoo’s men worked like clock-work, preparing Jeonghan’s luggage in no time.</p><p>He’d asked Mingyu to come with, but the knight refused, “I can handle a few days without you. Have fun, baby,” which made Jeonghan somehow touched since Mingyu was acting clingier after his return.</p><p>Maybe Mingyu needed the time to sort himself out. Whatever the case is, Jeonghan is proud of him for taking those necessary steps to feel better.</p><p>“Promise me you’ll come back soon, though,” Mingyu quietly says as he makes them tea, remembering to put two sugar cubes in Jeonghan’s cup.</p><p>Jeonghan leans onto Mingyu from behind him, hooking his chin onto the other’s shoulder. He doesn’t even need to bend down or tiptoe; it’s literally made to fit his height.</p><p>“Scared you’ll miss me too much?”</p><p>Mingyu replies, “That would only pleasure you.”</p><p>Jeonghan gives him a coy look, “Hmm… Wouldn’t you like to do that?”</p><p>Shaking his head, Mingyu laughs, “I’ll miss you so fucking much,” he leans his head to the side to bite onto Jeonghan’s cheek, making the blond giggle loudly.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>The Westin Isles can only be reached by crossing the ocean, so Prince Joshua’s entourage has to take several carriages to the port first. The journey would take them two whole days… or at least it should have.</p><p>Somehow the entire crew had gotten food poisoning the day before, so Jeonghan internalizes his dread when they pull up for the fourth time that day alone. Jisoo had insisted that they share a carriage, so Jeonghan exchanges eye rolls with him whenever they stop to take a toilet break.</p><p>Jeonghan looks outside the carriage, sighing wistfully at the setting sun in the distance. If they keep to this pace, they’ll arrive within three days at the very least. Not that Jeonghan is completely disliking it. It feels refreshing to be out of the palace for a change; unfamiliar, but not terrifying.</p><p>“We haven’t even made it halfway but you already look excited,” Jisoo comments, entertained, “People would think Seungcheol didn’t let you out or something.”</p><p>Jeonghan’s lips tug up into a lopsided smile, “You know as well as I do that Seungcheol cannot force me to do anything.”</p><p>“Ah, as expected,” the prince says conspiringly, “Why don’t you travel often though? Too busy?”</p><p>The blond shakes his head, “I was orphaned from birth, but because of my gift in magic, I was brought to be raised in the palace. I’m very fortunate. I just sometimes feel… that I had to prove my worth? The royal family has given me so much, I’m afraid that if I leave them, they’d realise how dispensable I really am…” Jeonghan stops himself. It’s been years since he’s had any of those thoughts, “But that’s all in the past so…”</p><p>Growing up an orphan, Jeonghan finds it natural to fend for himself. It comes with not having anyone else to depend on, to having to prove your worth over and over again. With a tint of shame, he remembers using his friendship with Prince Seungcheol to secure his position in the royal household. It was his role, his purpose. They would keep him long enough to entertain their little prince.</p><p>Mingyu’s arrival marked the end of that exclusivity. It meant that Jeonghan had been replaced by another playmate from a wealthy family. Mingyu doesn’t know this, of course, but he’d distorted Jeonghan’s view on relationships. It had always been a transaction to him; a cycle of give-and-take. He thought he’d been discarded when Seungcheol finds a new friend but years later, he proves himself wrong.</p><p>Jeonghan is not just the crown prince’s friend. He’s the kingdom’s royal sorcerer. His life is more than what he’s worth to other people. He has formed friendships with people he deeply cares for and he’s found love.</p><p>Jeonghan blinks at his own thoughts.</p><p>He’s in love.</p><p>“I’m glad you’re happier now,” Jisoo says, breaking into his inner monologue.</p><p>“Yeah, and I can’t believe I’m out here with you,” Jeonghan laughs with incredulity, “I never would’ve expected this for myself.”</p><p>“You deserve it, Jeonghan.”</p><p>They enjoy the rest of the sunset in silence, watching as the colours age into darker shades of the sky. When the last rays of sunlight drown out, Jisoo taps Jeonghan’s knee to tell him he’s getting the candles. The sorcerer offers to light up the carriage with magic instead, but being the old soul that he is, Jisoo opens the carriage door to do it the ‘old-fashioned way’.</p><p>Alone in the carriage, Jeonghan mulls to himself. He thinks of the wonderful days ahead– how he’d get to spend the days in Jisoo’s kingdom in the company of his new friend.</p><p>He’s so absorbed in his thoughts, he doesn’t hear the slight creaking of the carriage.</p><p>The door is yanked open and it’s too late, he realises, when a large hand forces his mouth closed.</p><p>“You’d know better than to scream, Prince Joshua,” a hooded man says to him.</p><p>It doesn’t stop Jeonghan from struggling against the two heavy men holding him down. They aren’t armed, so he still has his chances of defeating them. Just as he was about to break free, one of the men chants a spell into his ear.</p><p>Losing consciousness, the last thing he remembers is being carried into darkness.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>The entire palace is shaken.</p><p>Prince Joshua has returned to report a missing person. Yoon Jeonghan, the renowned royal sorcerer, has disappeared from his entourage without a trace. The rumours that surround it are insidious.</p><p>Some say that the foreign prince himself is behind it, ridden with jealousy from his betrothed’s relationship with the missing person. A few others believe it was bandits, while some speculate that Yoon Jeonghan may have simply disappeared at his own will.</p><p>Mingyu thinks they’re all ridiculous.</p><p>He doesn’t even believe Jeonghan is gone. For all they know, the sorcerer could appear at any moment now to announce how stupid they all are.</p><p>Jeonghan can’t be gone. He won’t just… leave.</p><p>He remembers Jeonghan talking about their shared future, of how he’d like Mingyu to be in it. Jeonghan would never leave him. It doesn’t make sense unless– He was taken away.</p><p>When he tells the prince, Seungcheol considers it a possibility. He’s just as distraught as Mingyu, but he’s gathered himself well enough to calm a crying Jisoo down. Prince Joshua’s been upset ever since he returned to bring the news.</p><p>“It’s my fault. I never should’ve left him alone when I knew all the guards were gone,” Jisoo wipes his eyes with irritation.</p><p>Seungcheol holds his betrothed closer, lending him his shoulder. “None of us blame you, Jisoo,” he says as gently as he can, “How did it happen?”</p><p>“The… the door,” Jisoo finds it labouring to breathe, “It was broken when I got back to the carriage. Nothing inside was missing, all the belongings were safe. I tried to look for Jeonghan but… but I couldn’t find him anywhere, Cheollie, I even told my men to search for him in the woods. He just… vanished.”</p><p>The more Mingyu listens to Jisoo’s statement, the more everything seems so surreal. He grounds himself in the goal of finding Jeonghan, telling himself that it’s not the time to break down with anxiety.</p><p>“It’s a kidnapping,” he announces.</p><p>Seungcheol looks at him, “I… I think you’re right.”</p><p>The king, who’d been silently listening to their accounts, nods his head at Mingyu for him to support his claim.</p><p>“The carriage door was forced open, so there are signs of struggle before Jeonghan disappeared,” the knight pauses, looking perplexed as he forces himself to continue, “Since nothing was stolen, it cannot be bandits or robbers. Whoever did this wanted to target him alone, waiting until everyone has left him unattended to strike.”</p><p>“What do they want with our royal sorcerer?” The king asks, frustrated at the situation, “They have no reason to target him.”</p><p>“I don’t think they wanted him initially,” Jisoo deduces, his eyes still red and puffy, “That carriage was specifically made for me to ride. I think they might’ve targeted me instead.”</p><p>Seungcheol is aghast at his words, “What– why would they?”</p><p>“I haven’t told you this to keep you from being worried, but a few months back when I was on my journey here, I was attacked by an unknown group,” he recounts, silencing everyone in the room, “My men outnumbered them and they were almost caught, but then they vanished right before our eyes.”</p><p>“They used magic?” Minghao speaks for the first time in their entire discussion.</p><p>Jisoo’s expression darkens, “It seems so.”</p><p>“Doing all this… what do they intend to do?” Mingyu almost growls out. Hearing all of this makes him more concerned about Jeonghan’s safety.</p><p>To remind himself, Mingyu touches the crystal pendant on his chest and feels its warmth, the pulse of its energy. Jeonghan is alive. He can feel it.</p><p>Just as they continue to argue, a messenger runs into the room. A letter in his hand. “Excuse me, Your Excellency,” he addresses the king and hands him the piece of paper, “This was found by one of the palace guards in the courtyard. We suspect it’s been dropped by a messenger bird.”</p><p>The king opens the letter to read it. Everyone in the room watches him with baited breaths. When he finishes reading, his hand clenches to crumple the parchment material, looking deeply insulted.</p><p>Being the only one who’s not intimidated by the king’s rage, Seungcheol steps up to ask, “What did it say, father?”</p><p>“You were right,” his low voice echoes in the empty room, “They think they have taken Prince Jisoo into custody. And now they’re bargaining ‘his’ life for the annulment of your engagement. We’ve three days to decide.”</p><p>Not expecting this outcome at all, the two princes are struck silent.</p><p>“That’s…” Seungcheol struggles to say, “You mean it’s Jeonghan’s life or our marriage? How does that make sense?”</p><p>Jisoo puts a hand on Seungcheol’s arm to calm him down, “They’re targeting a political marriage,” he reasons, unnervingly calm now, “We can expect to face a third party that opposes the unification of our two kingdoms.”</p><p>“It could be a rebel group,” Mingyu suggests, a nauseating feeling in his gut.</p><p>Seungcheol shouts, burying his head in his shaking hands, “It’s Jeonghan’s life! Do we really need to stand around and decide on this?”</p><p>“No,” Minghao pipes up, “We should start looking for him. Who says we have to play by their rules?”</p><p>Mingyu’s eyes flash with hope at the other’s words. He looks to Seungcheol and wraps an arm around the prince, “Come on, we’re going to find him. We can’t let time go to waste.”</p><p>“But how are we going to do that?” Jisoo voices their unspoken questions.</p><p>Minghao smiles in that mysterious way of his, “Perhaps I can be of service, Your Highness.”</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>To ensure Jeonghan’s safety, Prince Joshua is being isolated in a room in the palace with everyone in the palace being sworn to secrecy about his presence. They shouldn’t let the kidnappers find out that they’ve captured Jeonghan by mistake because if anything goes wrong, it could cost the sorcerer his life.</p><p>Mingyu shoves this thought to the back of his mind.</p><p>He’s following Minghao to Jeonghan’s private study. The red-haired man had claimed to know a way to locate Jeonghan, which is now their top priority. Seungcheol is busy assembling men for their stealth mission, so he would join them later.</p><p>As soon as he enters Jeonghan’s space, a familiar black cat bounds over to him. It rubs against his feet anxiously, meowing loudly for his attention. Mingyu picks him up into his arms, saddened by the desperation of it reaching for him. “Chan, how are you doing buddy?” He asks rhetorically, “I bet you miss your owner, huh?”</p><p>He looks at the tiny cat in his arms, “It’s okay, we’re bringing him back. It’ll be okay.”</p><p>Minghao watches their interactions and sighs. The young sorcerer looks as if a heavy weight’s been put onto his shoulders. Mingyu can hear him muttering something along the lines of ‘getting too attached’ under his breath.</p><p>The knight clears his throat, “So what’s the plan?” He questions, “How are we going to find him?”</p><p>“You want an answer?” Minghao asks, amused, “You’re already holding it.”</p><p>Mingyu looks down at the creature he’s carrying, “Are you messing with me?”</p><p>Minghao sends him a pointed look, “You’re dealing with magic, Mingyu. Nothing makes sense if you won’t open your mind to understand them,” he says, obviously vexed, “What you’re holding now is not a house cat Jeonghan owns. It’s only shaped in the form of an animal, but it isn’t one. Chan is Jeonghan’s familiar.”</p><p>“His… familiar?” Mingyu pries, humbled from the scolding.</p><p>“A condensed form of his magical energy,” Minghao explains, summoning his own familiar. Mingyu balks when a white snake slithers out from Minghao’s collar. “Meet Jun. He’s my familiar.”</p><p>“Umm… Hi?”</p><p>The snake hisses at Mingyu, disappearing once more under Minghao’s clothes.</p><p>Minghao shuts his eyes, fighting the urge to roll them, “They’re a product of our energy, which means they are connected to our spiritual core. They will need to interact with us to replenish their energy, so to do that, a familiar would need to seek its master out.”</p><p>Mingyu nods in understanding, “So Chan would help us sniff Jeonghan’s whereabouts?”</p><p>“He’s not a real cat!” The sorcerer yells, “But yeah… yeah, you get the gist of it.”</p><p>“We have to act fast, though,” Mingyu mentions, remembering their deadline, “We don’t know where he is and we only have three days to get to where he is.”</p><p>Minghao shakes his head calmly, “No need. Familiars can teleport to their masters whenever they’re in a crucial situation, but it will only happen then and <em>only</em> then. So we get one chance to follow Chan. No more.”</p><p>“We’re going to… teleport?” the knight asks, a little terrified by the idea.</p><p>“I can trace his teleportation path, but it would require me to open my own,” Minghao hums, “Yeah, I guess we’re teleporting.”</p><p>Mingyu sets Chan down onto the floor, watching it roll around and bite at the tip of his boot. Its behaviour is so cat-like that Mingyu feels tricked. Who knew Jeonghan’s pet was a powerful vessel filled with his own energy?</p><p>Certainly not him.</p><p>“Play with him,” Minghao says distractedly, looking for books on teleportation. That action alone tampers with Mingyu’s faith in the other’s teleporting skills.</p><p>“What?” The knight questions, “You’re the one who said it’s not a cat.”</p><p>The redheaded man snorts, “Does that matter?” Then he points out, “It still likes you and we need to drain its energy. Go play with it.”</p><p>When Seungcheol arrives later and finds Mingyu sprawled on the floor with black kitten jumping all over him, he doesn’t even find it in himself to ask. Mingyu’s done much more questionable things after all.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>For a sombre atmosphere, the sight of them is quite the opposite. A group of knights dressed in full-gear waiting around a little cat, keeping it entertained as it chases their shadows. It only ever cuddles up to Mingyu though, always running to avoid the other men.</p><p>Mingyu excuses himself for a moment, letting the knights named Wonwoo and Jihoon keep Chan occupied in his absence.</p><p>He walks to Jeonghan’s desk and sits in it, trying to imagine what Jeonghan would do in that very spot. He goes to refill the sorcerer’s ink jar. Mingyu stacks all the scattered paper on the table surface and replaces the worn out candle with a new one from inside Jeonghan’s drawer.</p><p>It’s very like Jeonghan to leave a mess behind.</p><p>Mingyu doesn’t even know what he’s doing at this point. He’s just mechanically moving to restore the order of Jeonghan’s desk space. He’s just trying so hard not to grieve.</p><p><em>Jeonghan is alive</em>, he thinks, <em>I can feel his warmth. He’s alive</em>.</p><p>He looks through the drawers, another excuse to distract himself. Mingyu opens the bottom one, revealing an unusually neat stack of books. They are drawing books, he realises soon enough.</p><p>While Mingyu and Minghao both dabble in oil paintings, he knows Jeonghan likes to sketch doodles on the corners of his textbooks. He doesn’t think anyone knows this particular hobby of Jeonghan’s. Smiling a little, Mingyu picks up the heavy stack onto the desk.</p><p>Jeonghan does more than doodle in these art books. He sketches out buildings, sceneries, even people he found interesting. Mingyu finds himself flipping through a few pages worth of teenage Seungcheol in various poses. The young prince is caught in a number of embarrassing poses, some of which has him sleeping with his mouth gaping open.</p><p>Mingyu is fascinated by the way the sketches morph into something more profound over the years. He can literally see how Jeonghan grew up from the matured approach he takes to his style now compared to how it was back then. He sees festivals, balls, and seasons in the way Jeonghan sees them, and it enthralls him.</p><p>The newest book contains a few sketches of him, Mingyu realises with a pang in his chest. One sketch was of him stretching while being topless; a habit of his after waking up. He snorts at the details Jeonghan added to his anatomy, noticing the little happy trail Jeonghan shaded under his bellybutton.</p><p>“Always so tasteful,” he chuckles to himself.</p><p>The last page is stuck together. Mingyu frowns as he pries it apart gently, not wanting to damage the paper. He peels them away to reveal a flower.</p><p>It was a dried rose.</p><p>Mingyu’s fingers twitch in their nervousness, wanting to touch the crisp edge of the petals. It was fragile under the pads of his fingers, dead and dried. Mingyu’s heart aches at the sight and he muffles a sob into the back of his hand. He remembers that same flower in Jeonghan’s hair; red and vibrant against blond.</p><p>He closes the book, afraid of ruining the paper with his tears. Jeonghan would want to come back to these in perfect shape. He can’t spoil it for him.</p><p>“Gyu,” Seungcheol’s voice shows up from behind him. He feels his friend rest a hand on his shoulder, “We have to stay strong if we’re going to bring him back.”</p><p>Mingyu ducks his head and breathes in shakily to stop the tears. He nods, “I know, just give me a second.”</p><p> “I’ll do whatever it takes to bring him back,” Seungcheol says, hardened with determination, “I won’t let anything harm him and I know you won’t either.”</p><p>Mingyu nods, resting his head back against the prince’s sternum. He appreciates the reassurance Seungcheol provides them with.</p><p>“Come join us,” Seungcheol pats down his hair, “Minghao is calling for you.”</p><p>He stands up to head over to their group but then Mingyu feels something amiss. He frowns, trying to work out what it could be as he stares at his surroundings. Then he looks down at the pendant hanging low on his chest. It’s still there but it’s gone cold.</p><p>He can’t feel Jeonghan anymore.</p><p>Without even thinking it, he’s already running to Minghao. The red-haired man is startled by his appearance, noticing Mingyu’s distress as soon as he lays his eyes on the knight.</p><p>“When are we teleporting?” Mingyu asks. His face is haggard, “Please, Minghao can’t we go now? I… I have to make sure. I can’t… I can’t feel him anymore please,” he holds onto Minghao’s robes– a desperate plea, “Please take me to him.”</p><p>Minghao looks apologetic when he answers, “I think Chan is already quite drained, but he hasn’t shown any will to teleport. We have to wait until he’s ready.”</p><p>Mingyu looks to the ground to see Chan already circling around his legs. “Channie,” he beckons, the unshed tears wetting his voice instead. He pats the cat with trembling fingers, “Channie, please.”</p><p>He closes his eyes and breathes in, “For me?” He whispers, “Can you, just this once?”</p><p>The tiny cat stares up at him, meowing softly at his agitated state. It takes a few steps back and nods as if saying goodbye. Mingyu watches as it curls into a spot on the floor. It closes its eyes and its black fur slowly lights up with a golden hue.</p><p>Minghao hastily reaches for his hand and orders the rest of their team to hold onto each other. He chants a spell in a foreign tongue and Mingyu’s eyes are blinded by a ray of white light. He braces himself to face whatever’s coming head-on.</p><p>
  <em>Wait for me, please wait.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. till death do us part</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Think I'll miss you forever; Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky.” ―Lana Del Rey</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[t/w: blood, violence.]</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jeonghan is almost free.</p><p>He looks down at the unconscious man wearing his clothes. This particular one, Jeonghan noticed, had been the weak link in among his captors. He’d been noticeably gentler on Jeonghan compared to the others who treated him with less grace. In times like these, Jeonghan is grateful for his delicate features even if it got him teasing remarks sometimes.</p><p>He plays up the vulnerable act, just enough so that the man would sneak in more food than necessary during Jeonghan’s meals. He’d cried in his cell at the man’s kindness, pinching himself in the thigh to add to the dramatics. The man seems satisfied at his how heroic Jeonghan made him out to be.</p><p>It wasn’t long until Jeonghan managed to lure the man into holding his hand, pretending he was ‘too scared’ to be left alone. As soon as he got a hold of him though, Jeonghan dug his nails deep into the other’s skin. Deep enough to draw blood. The man yelps in surprise but it was too late, Jeonghan smiles at the dark blood under his nails.</p><p>He speaks out a binding spell, closing his fist to seal the enchantment.</p><p>Now the man was his to operate. The downside to this was the fragility of this spell. If anyone notices the person’s unconscious, the spell would be broken. Jeonghan has to act quickly.</p><p>He orders the man to open the cell for him and hand him the keys. When he steps out of the cell, he switches their clothing, taking his necklace off before placing it in his pocket. He drapes the dark coloured cloak over himself and tells his man-puppet to lie down in the cell.</p><p>Twirling the keys in his hand, Jeonghan proceeds to lock the guy in his cell.</p><p>“Be good,” he reminds cheekily, pulling the hood down to conceal his face. The other man is unresponsive.</p><p>Jeonghan hasn’t even figured out where he is but when he does, he only has Hell to let loose.</p><p>The place he’s in seems to be located underground, assuming from the lack of light and the stale, humid air. An abandoned dungeon room. He trails up the stairs and reaches a closed door, leaning in immediately to see if someone’s in there.</p><p>“How are you sure they’ll comply?” a voice says, “The king hasn’t agreed to the three days’ deadline.”</p><p>“There seems to be a lack of activity in the palace, so there’s a huge chance that they’re complying,” another one replies, “Besides, it’s our prince’s life on the line– they won’t be so rash to act out.”</p><p><em>Our prince?</em> Jeonghan repeats to himself. <em>Are these people Jisoo’s subjects?</em></p><p>The sorcerer frowns. Then why hadn’t they recognized him yet? Do they actually not know what their own prince looks like?</p><p>He’s heard of the custom in other societies where the subjects aren’t allowed to look at a person of royal blood. He never thought that would be the case in Jisoo’s kingdom, but Jeonghan would be lying if he said he wasn’t grateful for it.</p><p>“All we need is for him to annul the engagement,” a voice reminds them, “As long as that happens we won’t have a unification on our hands.”</p><p>“Maybe that way, our kingdom won’t have to aid theirs every time a war breaks out,” someone says bitterly, “We can starve only for so long until it’s no longer bearable.”</p><p>When footsteps near the door, Jeonghan flees from his spot to hide. The people in the discussion sound close… Close enough to know that he’s not one of them. He can’t risk having his cover blown so soon.</p><p>The sorcerer finds a spiraling staircase leading to the top of a tower. Being careful not to slip on the slippery moss, Jeonghan makes his way up as fast as he can. The air is humid and the torches leading up to the tower aren’t lit up. Clearly, no one has occupied this place in a long time.</p><p>He pants a little, breaking a sweat as he races up the never-ending series of stairs. His empty stomach growls, reminding him that his last meal had been from yesterday morning’s. It’s only been two days since Jeonghan was kidnapped, but it feels like it’s been months longer.</p><p>When he reaches the peak of the tower, he is surprised to hear the sound of waves crashing onto the stone edges of the tower. The room’s ceiling had broken in on itself, revealing a vast view of the sky where the roof was supposed to be. There are no signs of land in the distance, only a sea of jade green glimmering under the light of the dawn.</p><p>Jeonghan concludes one thing that’s for sure. It’s that he’s not in his kingdom.</p><p>Knowing that his kidnappers had been Westin islanders, he can suspect that they’ve brought him to their kingdom. If that is so, he can narrow this place down quite easily. Jeonghan holds onto one of the broken edges of the walls and looks down at the sea below.</p><p>He’s trapped in the abandoned Water Prison of Westin Isles.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>Mingyu looks up at the towering stone building ahead of them.</p><p>“Are you sure that’s where they’re keeping him?” Seungcheol asks the sorcerer.</p><p>Minghao nods, “I’m sure. At least that’s where his familiar teleported to.”</p><p>“Shouldn’t we go in?” Mingyu urges, anxiously fiddling with his pendant. It feels hollow now.</p><p>The redhead shakes his head, “They’ve created a barrier around the prison. If we breach it, they will know of our presence,” he reasons, “It’s too risky.”</p><p>“If that’s so, how did Chan enter without being caught?” Mingyu furrows his brows, a hint of worry lining his features.</p><p>“Chan is made of Jeonghan’s energy,” Minghao explains as patiently as he could, “They wouldn’t think it’s odd to have his presence within their barrier.”</p><p>Mingyu nods, not from understanding how magic works, but from the reassurance that Chan is somehow with Jeonghan. He studies the desolated area, remembering his history lesson on Westin Isles as a child. The Water Prison is one of the most notorious places for its inhumane treatments to its prisoners.</p><p>The place is designed to be unreachable at any means and to be so isolated that no one knows what goes on inside of it. Knowing that Jeonghan is in there somewhere makes Mingyu lightheaded. The only consolation would be the fact that these kidnappers thought Jeonghan had been Prince Joshua. They wouldn’t harm him excessively– knowing the consequences should they get caught.</p><p>“Your Highness,” Minghao says aside to Seungcheol, “We would need boats as a means to escape. I’m afraid I’ve reached my limit to teleport us all here, so it would be difficult to perform with the current circumstances.”</p><p>Seungcheol hums, “Boats are useless in these waters, Minghao,” he raises his hand up in the air, “No wind. One of the hallmarks of Westin’s Water Prison,” he then gestures to the open sea with the jut of his chin, “No boat will survive those waters either. I’ve read records of people trying to cross over and none of them had ended on a positive note.”</p><p>Minghao looks perplexed. None of them had seen this coming when they blindly teleported to where Jeonghan is kept captive. They hadn’t even thought that getting out of there would require more effort than sneaking in.</p><p>“How much time do you need to restore your energy?” Mingyu questions. He’s willing to bet everything on this one chance.</p><p>The red-haired sorcerer taps his walking cane once on the ground, letting it loosen its shape until Mingyu sees a white snake slithering on the grass. The other knights step back, surprised at the spectacle.</p><p>Minghao gracefully lifts his familiar up as if he’s putting on a scarf. Jun wraps around his neck and Mingyu has never been so thankful that these aren’t real animals.</p><p>“If I meditate, I’ll be good to go tomorrow,” he says, sitting down with the snake around him, “Can you get Jeonghan out by yourselves by then?”</p><p>Mingyu nods once before looking over at Seungcheol.</p><p>It’s now or never.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan doesn’t know how or why, but Chan has appeared before his eyes.</p><p>The little cat is as energetic as ever, greeting him with a soft purr against his ankles. Jeonghan reaches down to it and feels the circulation of energy replenishing as they interact.</p><p>He’s been hiding in the supply room until he hears a soft meow from behind him. Chan is there somehow and Jeonghan is a bit relieved to see him there. The people in the palace would surely notice it’s missing… well, at least Mingyu would at some point.</p><p>Jeonghan huffs, struggling to keep his mind from wandering off to Mingyu. He feels the weight of the pendant in his pockets but doesn’t take it out. If anyone sees him wearing it, his whole cover would be blown. Jeonghan needs to get out of here no matter the cost.</p><p>His thoughts are disturbed by a sudden commotion happening outside.</p><p>“The barrier’s been breached,” someone says as they rush by, “Gather our men and tell them to search for intruders!”</p><p>Jeonghan’s heart is rabbiting in his chest. Has someone come to get him? If not, who can it be?</p><p>Thinking fast, he decides that no one would bother with him in the middle of this sudden chaos, so he heads out of his hiding place. Chan follows behind him quietly. When he looks back, the cat is blinking up at him with its curious eyes.</p><p>Jeonghan sighs, “I know you don’t like it, but please understand why I have to do this.”</p><p>In an instant, his familiar is transformed into an onyx dagger. Jeonghan picks it up from the floor and keeps it tucked under his belt. He promises to himself to change Chan back as soon as he can.</p><p>The sorcerer goes down a hallway leading to the back entrance. He’s explored the prison when he had the chance, figuring out the overall structure of the place. He doubts any intruders would take the main entrance anyways.</p><p>A couple of hooded men walks by and Jeonghan lowers his head, walking past them before one of them calls out, “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?”</p><p>Jeonghan stills, pivoting his head back just a little to face them, “I’m looking for the intruders,” which isn’t exactly a lie, “As ordered.”</p><p>“Forget about that!” the man says, “We have an even bigger crisis. The prince has escaped!”</p><p>Jeonghan bites his lip to contain his shock, “How?”</p><p>“His guard was wearing Prince Joshua’s clothes when we discovered him. Somehow the guy was already unconscious.”</p><p>The other hooded figure adds, “We didn’t know the prince was capable of magic, but apparently he does now.”</p><p>Jeonghan exhales slowly, knowing now the spell is broken. The man should have already regained his free will and told them about what happened.</p><p>The man looks at him then, squinting his eyes, “How weren’t you aware of this?”</p><p>“I… fell asleep at my post,” Jeonghan lies, sweat dotting the back of his neck. He needs to leave.</p><p>The silence he receives is unnerving. The two hooded men exchange looks before one of them speaks up, “Right… Why don’t you come with us?”</p><p>They’ve definitely caught on. Jeonghan doesn’t waste another moment to escape, running away with the men at his heels as they shout out “It’s Prince Joshua! We’ve found him!”</p><p>Jeonghan’s feet run purely on adrenaline, having completely surrendered himself to basic survival instincts. He makes a corner and then backtracks quickly when he’s faced with another one of the kidnappers. From his observations, there were about ten men or even more in total. How is he going to outrun all of them?</p><p>He clambers down a flight of stairs, trying to shake the men off his trail. All he can hear are their heavy footsteps as he struggles with the burning muscles in his legs. When Jeonghan finds a hiding spot inside of a pantry, he curls up and tries to muffle his own loud breathing with his hands.</p><p>One of his hands reaches down into his pockets to feel around for the pendant. He’s so scared he won’t stop shaking, but the crystal is cool on his palms and now he can sense Mingyu again. Jeonghan almost cries at the contact, not believing how close Mingyu feels to him right now.</p><p>Then he realises something.</p><p>Mingyu <em>is</em> close by.</p><p>He remembers how distant their connection had felt when Mingyu left to fight in the war, but now it doesn’t feel that way. Mingyu is somewhere within his vicinity, Jeonghan can feel it. He might even be in this prison with him.</p><p>Empowered by this fact, Jeonghan puts on the pendant around his neck and pulls down his hood. If the kidnappers won’t get to him first, then Mingyu will. The sorcerer takes the black, gleaming dagger from his belt and grips it in his hands, feeling a surge of his own magic.</p><p>When he leaves the pantry, a few men already spot him from afar. Jeonghan runs the other way and feels the pendant in his unoccupied hand, using it to navigate. Their connection feels stronger in this direction.</p><p>Mingyu’s presence is near the main entrance and Jeonghan silently curses them for being so reckless. It was the most heavily guarded area and Mingyu just <em>had</em> to come barging through it. It’s so annoyingly on brand for Kim Mingyu and Jeonghan hates how much he wants to laugh in this crucial moment.</p><p>Sure enough, he finds the group of intruders near the front gates. They must’ve somehow climbed their way in and are now facing some of the kidnappers in a fight. Jeonghan looks frantically for Mingyu and finds a tall knight busied in combat, too focused on dodging the attacks to notice him there. Prince Seungcheol and a couple of others were scattered across the place, fighting against their own opponents.</p><p>Jeonghan is not well-versed in the art of magical combat like Minghao is, but when he sees a man advancing an attack towards Mingyu’s back, he forms a protective barrier behind the knight. It sends the assaulter bouncing back with the colliding force and Mingyu turns around in shock to see the man groaning on the ground.</p><p>“Jeonghan!” The knight shouts as he finally sees the other’s familiar blond hair.</p><p>It wasn’t long before the kidnappers take notice of him too. The man who’d previously been thrown back is already standing up again, eyes zeroing in on him. Mingyu takes notice of this and his body moves before his mouth yells out “Jeonghan watch out!”</p><p>Jeonghan’s hands go up in front of himself to form a barrier but before it appears, the man had already launched his attack. A blinding ray of light zooms towards Jeonghan and the sorcerer shuts his eyes to prepare himself for the impact, but it never came.</p><p>When he opens his eyes, Mingyu lies unconscious on the ground– just a few steps ahead of him. A few more hooded men came to hold him back, keeping him in his place.</p><p>“Mingyu!” He screams as he struggles against the people restraining him, “Let go of me! Mingyu, get up!”</p><p>But his screams fall on deaf ears. Mingyu stays right where he is as a man steps down to inspect him. A sudden feeling of dread washes over Jeonghan when he realises that the man had been his previous guard. The one he had ambushed into his bidding.</p><p>The man sneers at Jeonghan as he crouches next to Mingyu, “Hey pretty,” he says, a dark intent in his voice, “Been behaving badly, I see?”</p><p>Jeonghan bites his inner cheek to stop himself from taunting the other man. That won’t benefit them right now but oh is it tempting. He watches in horror as the man pulls out a knife from his pocket, swinging it around. “Thanks to you, though, I was able to learn this,” the man says as he pushes the knife into Mingyu’s open palm.</p><p>Jeonghan screams, “Get your hands off him!”</p><p>The man laughs and touches the blood on Mingyu’s skin, curling his bloodied fingers into his palms as he speaks out a repetition of the spell Jeonghan had used on him.</p><p>“No, please!” Jeonghan groans against the knife pressed on his neck to stop him, “Mingyu!”</p><p>“This time though, I’ll make sure to cover his eyes,” the man says as he ties a cloth around Mingyu’s head, “So he would seem conscious enough, just blinded. We’ll see how you like your own tricks.”</p><p>Jeonghan’s worst fears play out in front of him just as Mingyu limply sits up, limbs controlled to move as the man’s liking. He stands up, his tall build making him look menacing. Jeonghan can barely think at this point, a mix of sweat and tears streaming down his face.</p><p>Jeonghan knows Mingyu is unconscious, but he needs to see Mingyu’s sleeping face to break the binding. He needs to get that blindfold off of his face first.</p><p>“Seungcheol!” He yells, hoping that the other would be nearby, “Seungcheol you have to help Mingyu!”</p><p>Sure enough, Seungcheol shows up after a few moments of struggle. Some of his knights, Jeonghan remembers them as Seokmin, Wonwoo and Jihoon, have also finished handling the other kidnappers. The prince’s body turns rigid when he sees Jeonghan.</p><p>The sorcerer is being held back by two men, a knife digging into his throat. Seungcheol grits his teeth, barely containing the rage spreading through his entire being. “Release him,” he growls at the kidnappers, “Now.”</p><p>Jeonghan’s captors laugh at him, “We gave you a deal. It’s not our fault you decided to play dirty,” they taunt him, dangling Jeonghan in front of his eyes like bait, “Take one more step and you’ll regret it.”</p><p>“And who’s gonna stop me?” Seungcheol challenges, already taking on a fighting stance.</p><p>Jeonghan’s former guard smiles wickedly as he shoves Mingyu forward, making him stand in front of Seungcheol, “He is.”</p><p>The prince’s eyes melt from their previous anger, dumbfounded by the sight of his friend. He looks to Jeonghan and sees him shaking his head slowly, “M-Mingyu is… he’s not himself,” the blond hisses when the knife presses into his throat, “You have to take his blindfold off for the spell to break.”</p><p>Seungcheol had barely enough time when Mingyu suddenly launches his fist at him. “Gyu!” He screams out, raising his arms up to block another strong hit, “Mingyu snap out of it!”</p><p>The other knights gather around them. Wonwoo unsheathes his sword to point it at Mingyu, but Seungcheol sees this and barks out, “No! We can’t hurt him,” he walks back to avoid Mingyu’s lunge at him, “Back off, I’ll handle this.”</p><p>Although uneasy at the command, the knights obediently back off, looking at the absurd scene unfold in front of their eyes.</p><p>“Mingyu it’s me, Cheol!” The prince ducks out of Mingyu’s reach, trying to swipe at his blindfold, “Gyu, please listen to me!”</p><p>Jeonghan’s heart breaks when Mingyu doesn’t hesitate to deliver a quick uppercut, landing quite painfully against Seungcheol’s jaw. All Jeonghan could think about was what could’ve happened if he stayed in his cell instead; if he’d never tried to leave. He never regretted something so much.</p><p>Just then, Mingyu’s puppeteer kicks a sword at them, letting it slide until it reaches Mingyu’s feet. Jeonghan’s pupils shake in horror as Mingyu picks it up. Seungcheol forgets to breathe for a second.</p><p>“Mingyu,” Seungcheol pleads, crying freely now, “Please, I know you’re in there, please stop,” he sobs when Mingyu raises his weapon towards him, “I don’t want to fight you.”</p><p>Mingyu’s mouth moves with effort as if he’d been resisting to speak out, “Then die.”</p><p>Overcome by his instincts, Seungcheol raises up his sword to meet Mingyu’s halfway. The knight had swung his sword down on him harshly, making his friend groan as he tries to counter the force with his own sword.</p><p>He notices the blood trickling out of the edge of Mingyu’s mouth and falters, not wanting to hurt his already injured friend, but then Mingyu is going at him full force.</p><p>Their swords clang together with each strike. Seungcheol struggles to get behind Mingyu and take his blindfold off, too busy evading the feral attacks Mingyu aims at him. He looks at Jeonghan, seeing the same despair in his eyes. Jeonghan then nods his head, which the prince frowns at, not understanding the implication.</p><p>The blond tilts his head to the side, gesturing at the puppeteer who’s too busy enjoying the show.</p><p>Years of friendship probably amounted to this unspoken communication he has with Jeonghan. Seungcheol nods subtly, getting an idea of what his friend means.</p><p>He lets out a yell and pushes Mingyu’s sword back with all of his remaining strength. He pushes Mingyu aside and lets the other knights try to hold him back. Seungcheol runs towards the man who’s in control of his friend and lets out a fierce cry as he plunges his sword into the man’s chest.</p><p>As soon as the man takes his last breath, Mingyu stops struggling against Seokmin’s hold and slumps back into his unconscious state.</p><p>Jeonghan takes the opportunity to wrangle himself out from his two captors. They’re still too shocked at what had happened and stumbles when Jeonghan gains enough momentum to take his own dagger out.</p><p>“Back off,” he demands, hearing two of the knights run towards them. Jihoon and Wonwoo stand in front of Jeonghan to shield him from the kidnappers before facing them in another fight.</p><p>Jeonghan doesn’t waste another second as he rushes towards the unconscious heap in Seokmin’s lap. Seokmin has taken the other knight’s suit armour off, letting Mingyu lie only in his inner clothing. His breathing is weak and his whole body is drenched in a cold sweat.</p><p>“Mingyu,” Jeonghan says, voice shaking, “Baby, can you hear me?”</p><p>He reaches for Mingyu’s hand, not daring to move him in case it would worsen his injuries. His fingers tremble when Mingyu tightens his hold on him, his skin cold to the touch.</p><p>“Han…” He says, effortful, “You okay?”</p><p>Jeonghan nods and lifts the knight’s hand up to nuzzle it, letting his tears stain the clammy, tanned skin. Mingyu’s eyes droop to a close at that, smiling a little, “Good…” he breathes out, “I was really… scared.”</p><p>“Jeonghan, sir,” Seokmin says in a whisper before looking down at Mingyu’s chest, “He’s bleeding.”</p><p>It’s one of those moments where everything just stops. Jeonghan sees the dark patch of blood on Mingyu’s chest. He can see too clearly now that the rise and fall with each of his breaths take more out of him than just his effort. Jeonghan reaches out to lift Mingyu’s shirt, revealing a deep puncture wound.</p><p>“The attack earlier…” Jeonghan’s chest aches at the memory of Mingyu blocking the hit for him, “It did this to you?”</p><p>Mingyu doesn’t reply. He doesn’t need to when the answer is so obvious.</p><p>“You should’ve gotten treated earlier but… but…” Jeonghan stops, unable to continue as his violent sobs force him to curl his head into Mingyu’s hands. His other hand trying desperately to stop the bleeding with Mingyu’s shirt. He applies pressure and almost retches when he feels blood gushing out of the wound.</p><p>“He needs help,” Jeonghan says through his tears, “We have to get out of here now.”</p><p>Seungcheol is suddenly there beside him, clutching onto Mingyu’s hip, “W-why is he bleeding so much?”</p><p>“I’ll explain later,” the sorcerer looks up to see Jihoon and Wonwoo tying up the kidnappers in a binding ribbon, a specialty of Minghao’s, “Are we ready to go?”</p><p>Seungcheol nods, “We can ask Jisoo to contact Westin Isle’s law enforcers to arrest them since they won’t be moving anywhere,” he looks up at the entrance gate, “Minghao’s waiting near the barrier to teleport us back.”</p><p>Jeonghan nods frantically, gripping Mingyu’s hand in his until his knuckles turn white. “We have to move him, quick.”</p><p>With Seungcheol holding his legs, Seokmin his middle, and Jeonghan his head, Mingyu is carried out of the prison to where Minghao awaits. The knights step back to give Jeonghan and Seungcheol some space as they fuss over their friend.</p><p>Minghao glances at the wound and gasps quietly at all the blood. He reaches down to feel Mingyu’s pulse and sighs, “His pulse is weak,” Minghao points out, “He’s losing way too much blood.”</p><p>Jeonghan bites his lower lip and forces himself to ignore Minghao’s words, “Mingyu, baby please keep your eyes open,” he says, a hand lifting the back of Mingyu’s head so he can look into his eyes, “We’re going to go back home now, okay?”</p><p>“Ah,” Mingyu winces, but it doesn’t stop him from smiling at the blond, “An angel. I must be in heaven already.”</p><p>Jeonghan frowns at the implication, “Gyu, I’m serious. Please listen.”</p><p>“Jeonghan… Angel, can I not go?” Mingyu’s smile looks sad, “Can’t I… stay here with you?”</p><p>“Mingyu stop it –”</p><p>Seungcheol stands up from his spot to scream at Minghao, “What are you doing?! Bring us back!”</p><p>Minghao shakes his head hesitantly at Seungcheol’s outburst, “With his condition, the teleportation process might be fatal… I- I can’t.”</p><p>The prince is at a loss, not comprehending anything anymore. No one says it, but everybody is thinking with the same exact conclusion in mind. The other knights bow their heads down in respect.</p><p>The hand in Jeonghan’s own moves up to brush his hair back, “Hey…” Mingyu says, eyes earnest and full of longing, “I love you.”</p><p>Jeonghan shakes his head, refusing to say it back. If he does, it would be his last words to Mingyu. He shuts his eyes and weeps, feeling Mingyu’s hand cup his dampened cheek.</p><p>“Don’t… cry…” Mingyu speaks, finding it difficult to breathe, “Don’t cry for me.”</p><p>But Jeonghan is already sobbing inconsolably, not letting go of the knight’s hand even if it weakens in his grip. Just like that, Jeonghan feels him slip through his fingers. Mingyu looks so serene, too serene, and Jeonghan doesn’t want to disturb his sleep.</p><p>He can’t even if he tried.</p><p>He rests his head on Mingyu’s chest, which has gone completely still, “You s-said you wanted to watch me grow old,” Jeonghan remembers the bathtub, how Mingyu had held him, how it felt like so long ago. “You didn’t even get to marry me and I’m already a-a widow?” he chokes on the last word, “How is that fair?!”</p><p>“I love you,” Jeonghan kisses the lifeless hand in his, his lips shaking as he whimpers, “You’re not even going to hear me say it now? Please Mingyu, I love you.”</p><p>Seungcheol is right by his side, silent as he stares at his friend’s body. It’s as if he’s still waiting for the other to wake up.</p><p>Minghao wipes his tears and moves back, ushering the other knights away to maintain a respectful distance.</p><p>The sun sets behind them.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>The next dawn, Jeonghan is the only one still awake.</p><p>Seungcheol had passed out from too much crying. He’s sleeping on the grass like he’s not a part of the royal family’s bloodline. Jeonghan is still holding Mingyu’s hand, feeling it slowly stiffen in his touch.</p><p>It’s all his fault.</p><p>He knows it’s probably unreasonable to blame himself, but Jeonghan really feels responsible for all that’s happened.</p><p>If he hadn’t joined Jisoo on the trip… If he hadn’t used forbidden blood magic to escape his cell… If he had just been strong enough to protect them with a barrier… If only Jeonghan had taken the blow instead.</p><p>Maybe then Mingyu would still be alive.</p><p>His eyes are all puffed up and dry, not able to cry even if he feels like he already is.</p><p>Jeonghan reaches into his belt and draws out his familiar. Chan morphs back into his cat form in Jeonghan’s hands. He hugs the creature close, not wanting to pay attention to anything else at the moment.</p><p>Chan paws at his face and meows sorrowfully, feeling his creator’s anguish as his own.</p><p>Carefully, Jeonghan sets him down. The cat makes its way to Mingyu, slowly sniffing around him as it approaches. The black feline hops onto Mingyu’s chest and mewls. Jeonghan thinks it’s a miracle when tears form at the corners of his eyes.</p><p>“Come back…” he whispers, pained, “Please… Mingyu, what would I have to do?”</p><p>Jeonghan’s hand crumples the fabric of Mingyu’s shirt, “Come back… come back…”</p><p>A soft, golden light makes him look up, and when he does, Chan is staring down at him. Jeonghan gasps when he realises that his familiar is glowing, as in emitting actual golden light out of its body.</p><p>“What are you doing?” The sudden sound of Minghao’s voice shakes him out of his trance. The red-haired sorcerer looks at him warily.</p><p>Jeonghan glances at how Chan curls itself onto Mingyu’s chest, not minding the wounds. It’s still glowing.</p><p>“Jeonghan, you can’t possibly be thinking of…” Minghao frowns, worry creasing his youthful face, “That method is unspeakable Jeonghan, stop it <em>right</em> <em>now</em>.”</p><p>The older man laughs hollowly, “I have no idea what you mean.”</p><p>Anyone would believe Jeonghan when he said it, but this is Minghao and if anyone can sniff out Jeonghan’s lies, it would be him. “You’re obviously too attached,” the redhead points at Chan, “Have you even thought about the consequences?” Minghao grills him further, “You will lose your magic!”</p><p>“Yes, but I already lost <em>him</em>,” Jeonghan’s voice breaks at the end of his sentence.</p><p>Minghao’s lips set into a firm line, “I’m sorry, I can’t let you do this.”</p><p>Jeonghan answers with a solemn nod, “Then I’m sorry too.”</p><p>He closes his eyes and when he opens them, they are the colour of molten gold, spilling bright light onto their surroundings. Jeonghan creates a ripple of his energy, which turns into a giant wave that sweeps Minghao away from them, a solid distance away for him to keep out of the blond’s business.</p><p>“Jeonghan, stop!” Minghao tries moving against the strong ripples of energy, his feet sliding back on the ground with each step. Jeonghan tunes out his cries and tries to focus.</p><p>Chan is still curled up in a ball on top of Mingyu, but the golden hue blanketing him is a lot more vibrant than before. Jeonghan moves to lay a hand on his familiar. Sparks of light bounce all around them but all Jeonghan could think of is to hold onto Mingyu’s hand and then have him hold it back.</p><p>He sees his familiar slowly melt into a puddle, sinking further and further into Mingyu’s chest. Jeonghan lets a golden tear trickle down his cheek. It feels as if an integral part of him is being stripped off.</p><p>The energy imbalance sends his body down a spiral – Jeonghan’s muscles ache and his head pounds with a heavy sort of pain. He looks down at Mingyu and sees his whole body covered in Jeonghan’s yellowish light. He leans down and rests his forehead against the latter’s, feeling one last punch of pain before everything turns dark.</p><p>Minghao watches in trepidation as the sorcerer falls lifelessly next to his biggest mistake yet.</p><p>There’s no returning from this.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. start anew</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"So I won’t take you for granted, because you loved me as I am." —SEVENTEEN, Fallin' Flower</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At age five, Jeonghan got into trouble for the first time since he arrived at the palace. His little fingers were blistered and covered in dirt as he cried quietly. His mentor, the Royal Sorceress Kahi, had reprimanded him harshly that day.</p><p>“Jeonghan,” she said eventually, brushing his sticky, blond hair back, “Do you know what you’ve done wrong?”</p><p>He shook his head, still not understanding why she was so angry at him. The child sniffed snottily and cradled the small, dead bird to his chest. He was only trying to help.</p><p>Kahi sighed before squatting down to meet his eyes. She was a beautiful woman and Jeonghan had always liked her purple speckled eyes, but at that time, he couldn’t even bring himself to look at her. Kahi looked down at the bird in his hands, a red-chested robin that’s too young to defend itself from the world. “How does it look, Jeonghan?”</p><p>He swallowed bile down his throat and answered her with a watery voice, “It looks… sleepy.”</p><p>“That’s right,” she smiled a little, “Do you think it looks peaceful?”</p><p>Jeonghan nodded, still crying silently. Kahi cupped his little pudgy cheeks in her hands, “Now, you shouldn’t have tried to disturb its sleep, don’t you think?”</p><p>“B-But…” The boy hesitated, “It’s not asleep. It’s dead.”</p><p>“And that’s how it’s supposed to be,” his mentor answered him bluntly, “Did you think you could give it a better life if you had woken it up again?” She questioned him seriously, “How are you sure it’s not better off dead?”</p><p>“Won’t the mama birdy be sad if it died?” Jeonghan asked, shaking a little, “I never met my mama and papa but… but I think I’m sad…”</p><p>Kahi was all about tough love, but she’s not completely heartless. She closed in to envelop him in a hug, “You’ve been through quite a lot, huh?” she said, shushing his sobs gently, “Yes, we will be sad, Jeonghan. We’re allowed to grieve, but we must also move on. It is not within our rights to tamper with life itself. That’s why if we deviate, we will be punished.”</p><p>“P-Punished?” Jeonghan hiccupped in alarm, “How?”</p><p>Kahi pulled back to face him, a stern expression on her stoic face, “If you had revived this bird, you would have lost all your magic,” she lifted up an inquiring eyebrow, “A sorcerer without his magic is as good as a bird without its wings. Are you still sure about taking that chance?”</p><p>The little boy gasped, dropping the bird’s body in his panic. Kahi gracefully moved the bird onto a clearing in the grass. “No! I don’t wanna…” Jeonghan’s bottom lip quivers through his words, “Kahi, don’t send me back… I want to stay here, please, I won’t ever do it again. I promise.”</p><p>“Shh… Angel, it’s alright,” she suppressed a smile at his cute expression, “I know you won’t.”</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>It’s been so long since he saw Kahi – the woman had left the palace years ago, so when Jeonghan opens his eyes to be greeted with her ever ice-cold expression, he was more than confused.</p><p>Jeonghan adjusts his eyes to the sudden light, squinting as he faces away from the windows. He’s sitting on a clean bed in the wards, a couple of people surrounding him. Kahi is still standing there, proving herself not to be a figment of his imagination.</p><p>“He’s awake,” Kahi says, her voice still tinged with the same unenthusiastic tone from Jeonghan’s childhood, “Inform the prince immediately.”</p><p>A disciple bows at her command and scurries off to relay the news. Jeonghan looks around him and finds Minghao standing off across where his former mentor is. The redhead is looking at him with a conflicted attitude.</p><p>“How are you feeling, Jeonghan?” Kahi asks when she sees him grasp his bearings.</p><p>To be honest, Jeonghan doesn’t feel particularly terrible. He doesn’t have any soreness or pain throughout his body. He feels as usual. It’s just… too normal. He frowns, realising the hollow feeling in his chest. He cannot feel his own energy anymore.</p><p>“I’m fine…” he lies, not willing to admit his emptiness just yet, “I feel just fine.”</p><p>Jeonghan turns to Minghao, “Hao… Where’s Mingyu?”</p><p>“How are you so–” Minghao cuts himself off, evidently stressed, “He’s in another ward. His condition is stable for now,” the sorcerer sighs tiredly like he’s been worrying for days, “We don’t know how long it would take for his body to adjust to your energy.”</p><p>Jeonghan processes all the information slowly, nodding his head at Minghao’s explanation. Kahi watches over them like a hawk, unsettling him. He doesn’t even know why she’s here.</p><p>“Can I… can I see him?”</p><p>Minghao was opening his mouth when Kahi raises her hand to stop him. She gives him a meaningful look and sends him out for a moment. The redhead bows reluctantly and makes his way out, leaving Jeonghan alone with his former mentor.</p><p>“Jeonghan,” she starts to speak when it’s just the two of them in the room. He recognises it as the tone she used when she would lecture him, “Do you know why I’m here?”</p><p>He bows his head down, reverting to his past habits of avoiding her gaze, “Is it something to do with me?”</p><p>The silver-haired lady hums, “It had everything to do with you,” she says, unamused, “Why else would they dare to bother me?”</p><p>“They?” Jeonghan looks up, alarmed.</p><p>“The Delegation of Wizards,” she deadpans, “They’re asking for my opinion in disciplining you as your former mentor,” Kahi rolls her eyes pointedly, “As if you ever listen to me.”</p><p>Used to her harsh way of speaking, Jeonghan doesn’t take it to heart and smiles fondly instead, “So they’re still deciding on my punishment?”</p><p>“You’ve been punished enough, don’t you think?” Kahi waves her hands flippantly, “They must be doing it to discourage other magic users from deviating.”</p><p>Hearing it, Jeonghan clenches his fist under the blanket, “I’m sorry.”</p><p>The sorceress gazes at him before saying, “No, you’re not.”</p><p>Jeonghan wishes she’d been wrong, but whenever he thinks of Mingyu resting in one of the other rooms, chest heaving up and down rhythmically, he doesn’t feel even an ounce of regret.</p><p>“You will feel worse later on,” Kahi continues, “I’ve seen others who deviated, how they barely manage to live with the regret plaguing them for the rest of their lives. Some even grew to hate the person they’d revived.”</p><p>“I could never hate Mingyu,” Jeonghan replies immediately, “I love him.”</p><p>His former mentor doesn’t seem fazed by his declaration, “We’ll see about that.”</p><p>When Minghao is allowed to return, the sorcerer helps Jeonghan to get up on his feet. Jeonghan feels too much like a patient, needing the other’s support just to steady his walk. His legs are wobbly as they support his weight. Jeonghan passes a mirror and halts, holding Minghao back to a stop also.</p><p>He blinks his eyes at his own reflection in disbelief. Jeonghan could be wrong, but for now he sees his long hair in a light chestnut colour instead of its usual blond. He didn’t even realise losing his magic would affect his physical appearance.</p><p>“It’s… not bad,” Jeonghan comments, trying to take all of this in. Minghao is silent with his support, merely waiting for the other to finish gawking before they continue to walk.</p><p>When Jeonghan arrives at the ward Mingyu is in, his heartbeat drums against his chest in anxiety. It feels like he hasn’t seen Mingyu in a long time and he’s so nervous.</p><p>“He’s there,” Minghao informs him as he guides him to a bed closed in a drape, “Still unconscious for who knows how long.”</p><p>Mingyu is sleeping peacefully on his bed, long limbs extending to the very edges of it. Jeonghan feels his heart clench at the longing he feels for this man. If only Mingyu was able to see him and talk to him, he would be ecstatic, but for now this is already enough for him.</p><p>Minghao sets up a chair next to the bed for Jeonghan to sit on, “I’ll leave you two then,” he excuses himself mindfully, already heading off to his other duties. Jeonghan is left with Mingyu and Jun, the snake familiar in charge of informing Minghao should Jeonghan be in need of any help.</p><p>“Mingyu, did you wait long?” Jeonghan asks, not caring if it’s rhetorical. He slowly takes the other’s hand in his and weaves their fingers together, “I miss you so much.”</p><p>Jeonghan can stand the empty feeling devouring him, can bear with the loss and the changes in his life. He will put up with any of the punishments they’re giving him. He would do it all over again, in fact.</p><p>As long as they have each other.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>“Royal Sorcerer Yoon Jeonghan,” The old man’s dignified voice carries through the courtroom, “You have been summoned for the use of forbidden techniques– those being necromancy and blood manipulation. Do you acknowledge this fact to be true?”</p><p>All around him were elders, members of the delegation who itch for him to be disciplined. They eye him like a spectacle in a show, intrigued by his circumstances but at the same time wary of the possibilities of being in his shoes.</p><p>“I admit to all charges,” declares Jeonghan, an eruption of whispers following his words.</p><p>The highest member of the delegation nods his head solemnly, “As you have been stripped of your magic, we will also dismiss your title as a royal sorcerer. Therefore, revoking your rights and obligations to the kingdom as one.”</p><p>Jeonghan freezes at the realisation. He’s no longer a royal sorcerer, surely not with the lack of magical prowess. He bites his lips to somehow appease his anger. He’s worked for this his entire life, dedicated his entire youth to gain knowledge that has now turned obsolete.</p><p>It’s a sacrifice he is willing to pay.</p><p>“Further disciplinary cautions will be decided upon you by the crown,” the elder drones on, “We shall sustain this hearing until the crown has reached a decision.” He ends it with a ring of a bell.</p><p>By ‘the crown’ they would mean any member of the royal family. Jeonghan knows he can ask Prince Seungcheol to lighten his punishment, but it’s without saying that his friend wouldn’t want to punish him at all.</p><p>Minghao runs up to him with someone else by his side. Jeonghan’s face breaks into a smile at the sight of Jisoo. However, the foreign prince is fuming, “Why didn’t they ask you the context of why you used those forbidden techniques?” He argues, crossing his arms in discontent, “They didn’t even try to hear you out. How do you call that a trial?”</p><p>Minghao looks helpless as he replies, “Magic users are never allowed to use forbidden techniques at any circumstances. It’s too harmful in any situation so that’s why we ban the use of it. Even if he had a justifiable excuse, it wouldn’t help Jeonghan’s case.”</p><p>“Hao is right,” Jeonghan adds, soothing Jisoo down even if he appreciated the outburst on his behalf, “They’ve already decided that I was going to be punished. This trial is a mere formality.”</p><p>Jisoo looks at him with a guilty pout on his lips, “Hannie, I’m so sorry…”</p><p>“No, don’t,” He stops the other right away, “It’s not in any way your fault. All that’s happened was my own doing.”</p><p>Jeonghan lets his two friends walk him to the tea room. They were supposed to meet Seungcheol after the crown prince’s morning duties. Jisoo had ordered a variation of sweets and sandwiches for Jeonghan to indulge in. He laughs freely when Minghao cringes at the overly sweet cream.</p><p>For a short moment, Jeonghan can distract himself in the company of his friends. He can enjoy these little moments of relief brought by continuous sacrifices.</p><p>Seungcheol shows up a while later, taking off his heavy official robe when he enters the room. He smiles his gummy smile and greets the group of friends. He looks to Jeonghan and gauges his expression for a bit– relaxing when he sees Jeonghan enjoying himself.</p><p>“Well if it isn’t the crown,” Jeonghan says teasingly, “Have you thought of a way to make my life miserable?”</p><p>Seungcheol snorts at his dark sense of humour, “I’d exile you, but that would only make <em>me</em> miserable instead.”</p><p>Jisoo responds with a drawn-out ‘awww’ while Jeonghan and Minghao cringes at the cheesy words. Seungcheol laughs at their comical faces.</p><p>“On a more serious note,” the crown prince continues, “I think I might demote you into a government official position. It’s hardly a punishment but they’ll see the drop in rank and be appeased.”</p><p>Jeonghan breathes out slowly, still letting his new situation sink in. His mind repeats Kahi’s words from years ago saying ‘A sorcerer without his magic is as good as a bird without its wings’ over and over until the noise turns static.</p><p>“You don’t have to do that for me, Your Highness.”</p><p>Seungcheol almost glares at him for saying that, “You saved by betrothed from a potential threat to his life, protected my engagement to him, and then you brought one of my best friends back from the dead,” he argues, not taking no for answers, “It’s the <em>least</em> I can do for you, Jeonghan.”</p><p>Sometimes Jeonghan forgets how much he actually means to Seungcheol, so it’s nice to hear him say it out like this. Jeonghan can’t help feeling warm inside with affection. He really loves his friends.</p><p>“Oh, and one more thing,” the prince adds with excitement, “On my way here, I’ve been informed that Mingyu had just woken up.”</p><p>The teacup in Jeonghan’s hands falls with a clink onto the decorative dish below. He can’t believe his ears, too elated to make sense of things. He stands up, feet still a bit wobbly under him. Jisoo and Minghao move simultaneously to steady him.</p><p>Jeonghan faintly hears his friends’ amused laughter around him as he races down the halls with them. He must look ridiculous– stumbling on his own feet when he’s already in his twenties. Jeonghan could care less when he thinks of Mingyu waiting for him, of hearing him laugh again and kissing him stupid after so long.</p><p>When they arrive at the wards, Jeonghan sees Mingyu sitting up in his bed, looking around himself with a lost expression. It’s so endearing that he almost strangles an unknowing Minghao. Thankfully, Jeonghan thinks better of it and controls himself.</p><p>“Mingyu,” he calls out softly, expecting the knight to look at him.</p><p>He doesn’t, though. Mingyu keeps looking off at something in the distance. Jeonghan frowns a little. Maybe he hadn’t heard him?</p><p>“Mingyu, it’s me,” he tries again as he stands next to the bed. Mingyu does look at him this time, but the look on his face is a blank one. For a moment, they just stare at each other, a tense atmosphere in the air.</p><p>Then, Mingyu speaks, “I’m sorry, who?”</p><p>They all turn silent at his question. Mingyu looks at all of them in turns and not one look of recognition flash across his face. Jeonghan feels his throat close up, so he rests a hand on Seungcheol, holding him in case his legs fail.</p><p>“Mingyu, you don’t remember us?” Seungcheol asks in disbelief.</p><p>The knight points at himself with a finger, “Am I supposed to?”</p><p>Minghao gasps from behind Jeonghan, covering his mouth with his hand. Jisoo is dumbfounded, staring back and forth between Mingyu and his two best friends.</p><p>“Am…” the knight hesitates, “Am I Mingyu?”</p><p>Jeonghan feels his entire world tilt on its axis. He looks into Mingyu’s eyes and finds nothing. Not a trace of the Mingyu who teased him as kids, who later on fell in love with him and died for him. The Mingyu he’d known is as good as gone.</p><p>Kahi’s voice in his mind reminds him, ‘Some even grew to hate the person they’d revived.’</p><p>Because in the end, that’s what this all is. A sacrifice.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>“Sentence an exile,” Jeonghan demands. He’s alone in his old study with Seungcheol. A week has passed since Mingyu regained consciousness and at the same time, lost his memories. Each day with Mingyu not remembering him hurts Jeonghan more than he’d ever imagined.</p><p>The Prince shakes his head, “No, I won’t send you away.”</p><p>Jeonghan takes in a deep breath, “I see him every day, Seungcheol. And every single day only I can remember the man he used to be. Of what <em>we</em> used to be. You don’t know how much that pains me,” his voice cracks with pent up emotions, “Please, all I’m asking for now is some sense of peace. I just need some time away from everything.”</p><p>Jeonghan drops down to his knees, surprising his friend with the sudden movement. The brunette looks up at him, outright begging now, “I’ve never asked you for anything Seungcheol and I… I can’t take this anymore, so please…”</p><p>Seeing his friend in so much pain, Seungcheol looks up at the ceiling to stop his tears from spilling out. He’s so frustrated at everything and he can only imagine how fed up Jeonghan is at this point. He's seen the anguish in his friend's eyes whenever Mingyu fails to recognise any of them. Seungcheol has witnessed the way it destroys Jeonghan, how it eats him slowly from the inside. </p><p>And the worst part is, he knows Jeonghan blames himself for what happened. He's seeking for the retribution Seungcheol is unwilling to give.</p><p>“Are you sure?” He asks just to delay getting an answer.</p><p>Jeonghan nods– burying his face into his hands afterward, his entire body shakes from the force of his cries.</p><p>The prince exhales a shaky breath, “It will be a nearby village,” he forces himself to say, “Just in case I need to see you…”</p><p>Seungcheol takes a moment to calm himself down, walking away from Jeonghan’s position on the floor. He leans against a wall before sliding down, matching Jeonghan’s height once more.</p><p>“I’ll send a messenger every week,” Seungcheol decides. Jeonghan lets out a watery laugh at that, “That’s so excessive... Every month should already be enough.”</p><p>Jeonghan watches his friend cry softly into his own arms and feels his heart twinge. His prince really is too kind. He doesn’t deserve such a kind-hearted man to call his best friend.</p><p>“What do we do about Mingyu?” Seungcheol asks, voice hoarse from crying, “How should I tell him?”</p><p>Jeonghan sinks further into his own hands, taking refuge within the darkness it provides, “When you tell him about his life… Keep me out of it,” he says eventually, “Just skip over my parts in his life.”</p><p>The prince groans, “Are you listening to yourself right now?”</p><p>“It’s better if he’d never met me,” Jeonghan insists stubbornly, “I brought him so many misfortunes and I don’t think I could ever deserve his forgiveness–”</p><p>“That’s bullshit and you know it!”</p><p>Jeonghan glares threateningly at him, something he’d never done before, “If you tell him, Seungcheol, I promise you I would disappear from the face of this earth and I would never let you find me again. So promise me you would never tell.”</p><p>At a complete loss, Seungcheol releases a pitiful laugh, “You’re so cruel, Yoon Jeonghan.”</p><p>“Promise me,” Jeonghan is not settling for less.</p><p>And so a promise was made.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>Traditional medicine is a mundane practice. It can barely achieve what magical healing does, but with the right knowledge and skill, Jeonghan doesn’t find it too lacking.</p><p>He’s had a foundation of working in healthcare, so it’s not that hard for him to understand this in addition to what he already knows. It would take some time, but Jeonghan is certain he’d be able to make a living off of being the village healer.</p><p>In the two years he’s been exiled from the kingdom, Jeonghan had made a comfortable life for himself.</p><p>He still writes to his friends back in the palace to hear how they’re doing, but otherwise, they don’t ever meet. Seungcheol had wanted to several times, but his position as the newly appointed king has turned him immobile from his throne. Jisoo is busy with their wedding preparations, and Minghao is off to travel the world once more.</p><p>He’s fortunate to find good company in this small village; a baker named Seungkwan and a farmer’s son named Hansol. They’d welcomed him warmly on his first day of moving in, and Jeonghan just stuck with them ever since.</p><p>He helps out in Hansol’s family’s farm sometimes and they would always invite him for dinner afterward.</p><p>It’s a simple, fulfilling life.</p><p>So to have that life interrupted once more by a certain Kim Mingyu, Jeonghan is at a loss for words.</p><p>After two years of not even hearing about him, the knight had shown up in the middle of the night, looking just as handsome as he did back then in his armour. Jeonghan feels a god-awful squeeze in his chest and proceeds to internalise his pain.</p><p>“I… I think we’ve met before,” Mingyu insists, somehow very convinced, “Didn’t I see you that day I woke up in the palace ward?”</p><p>Jeonghan feels a shiver run up his spine when he’s reminded of that day. The pain of that memory still haunts him endlessly.</p><p>“I’ve never been to the palace,” Jeonghan lies because it’s late at night and the longer he stares at Mingyu, the more he fools himself with the hopes of him remembering him.</p><p>Mingyu frowns suspiciously, “I don’t know why you’re lying when you clearly have.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” The brunette huffs impatiently, hoping Mingyu would just leave him alone.</p><p>Mingyu pulls out an envelope sealed with the royal stamp, “You’re invited by His Majesty the King to his wedding… Now tell me why he would invite a person who’s never even been to his palace?”</p><p>Jeonghan is left tongue-tied by the end of his sentence. His hands are trembling so he joins them together to keep himself grounded. “I… You’re here to deliver the invite?”</p><p>Mingyu sends him a smirk, too familiar for Jeonghan’s weak heart, “Amongst other things.”</p><p>“What other things?” Jeonghan asks, clueless.</p><p>“A holiday!” Mingyu exclaims with excitement, “I needed a break so Cheol recommended this place. It’s nice. A quiet getaway from the palace life.”</p><p>Without thinking, Jeonghan blurts out, “You have a whole mansion in the countryside, Mingyu. You don’t need to come all the way here.”</p><p>The knight looks at him contemplatively before asking, “How do you know that?”</p><p>Desperate to cover his slip of the tongue, Jeonghan blabbers, “You’re a knight, so I just assumed you’d have an estate somewhere since you’re probably wealthy…”</p><p>Mingyu gives him an amused look, “I’m not talking about that,” he smiles, “How do you know my name?”</p><p>In a self-loathing filled second, Jeonghan realises that the other hadn’t introduced himself. He has no replies left and in the end, opts for a guilty little shrug. Mingyu laughs at him.</p><p>“So, were we friends?” Mingyu asks, always so straightforward when it comes to flirting, “Or were we something more?”</p><p>Completely blindsided, Jeonghan panics and moves to close the door in Mingyu’s face. Before he manages to though, Mingyu’s hand holds back the door, preventing him from shutting him out.</p><p>“Sorry, sorry,” the knight says quickly, afraid of offending Jeonghan, “I was also supposed to live here during my stay in this village… Did Cheol not tell you that?”</p><p>Jeonghan grits his teeth at the thought of his backstabbing friend. <em>Choi Seungcheol! So this is how you get back at me?</em></p><p>“No,” his answer is curt, “No he didn’t.”</p><p>Mingyu’s eyes dim at his words, looking like a kicked, gigantic puppy. Jeonghan wants to laugh at the sight. “Oh… uh, my apologies,” Mingyu says, dejected, “I’ll go look for some other place then. Sorry to bother you.”</p><p>Jeonghan watches the fumbling, tall man awkwardly walk back to his horse and sighs in defeat. He tells himself that it’s because of his conscience, but he knows he never wins when it comes to Kim Mingyu.</p><p>“Hey,” he calls the knight back, “It’s okay, just stay here. I doubt any inns are open this late at night.”</p><p>Mingyu’s imaginary tail wags in delight, “Oh… really?” He smiles brightly, leading his horse inside Jeonghan’s tiny lawn. “Thank you, Jeonghan.”</p><p>“Don’t thank me,” he says gingerly, meaning it in more ways than one.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>The next day, Jeonghan wakes up to Seungkwan’s voice bickering with someone else in the kitchen. He pads his way to see what the commotion is all about and almost chokes when he remembers that Mingyu is now living in his cottage.</p><p>Mingyu is the one bickering with Seungkwan as they… cook.</p><p>“What’s going on?” Jeonghan breaks the stream of arguments with his presence, “Do you know how early it is?” He points outside the window, but is shocked to find that the sun is already so high up in the sky. He’s overslept till noon.</p><p>“Good afternoon to you too, Mister Healer,” Seungkwan says, voice dripping with sarcasm. He pushes Mingyu around the kitchen table and huffs in annoyance when the knight barely even budges.</p><p>“How did you,” Jeonghan points at the two men fussing around his kitchen, “Do I even want to know?”</p><p>“We met at the marketplace this morning,” Mingyu supplies kindly, “I told him I live here now.”</p><p>Seungkwan raises his eyebrows and wiggles them at Jeonghan. The brunette groans, “He’s here on vacation. Don’t ask.”</p><p>“Wasn’t asking,” The baker laughs teasingly.</p><p>When breakfast (lunch) is ready, Seungkwan excuses himself to search for Hansol so he can join them, leaving Jeonghan alone with his worst nightmare.</p><p>“Do you like cooking?” He asks to get rid of the awkward atmosphere.</p><p>Mingyu nods, “I don’t remember if I cooked a lot back then, but when I tried to cook some time ago, it just came to me like muscle memory,” he chuckles, “I guess I like it if I get to eat.”</p><p>Jeonghan nods slowly, remembering all the times Mingyu would prepare Seungcheol’s picnic baskets for him when they were children. He’s been cooking for so long, it must have been ingrained in his subconscious somehow. He scowls, a bit bitter that Mingyu could remember cooking, of all things, and still not remember <em>him</em>.</p><p>“I hate cooking,” he says, petty to a fault.</p><p>Mingyu perceives this as a chance for him to volunteer, “Well, good thing I’m around to cook for us.”</p><p>Jeonghan watches him with a certain emptiness in his chest, a longing that is still yet to be fulfilled. He pushes the dangerous hope to the back of his mind.</p><p>Kim Mingyu had no right to toy with him like this.</p><p>“Are you sure you still have that muscle memory?”</p><p>Mingyu hums, confused by the sudden question, “I mean so far…”</p><p>Jeonghan leans in to narrow their distance, letting their faces stay inches apart. Taken aback, the knight freezes as he stares at the man in front of him. Jeonghan’s short, brown hair falls into his eyes, shaking when his eyelids flutter downwards and Mingyu lets himself become drawn to the magnetic pull.</p><p>Jeonghan stops right before their lips touch, feeling the other man’s breath against his.</p><p>“What… are you two doing?” Seungkwan breaks into a knowing smile as he nudges a blushing Hansol next to him.</p><p>Jeonghan snaps out of it like someone’s dumped an entire bucket of ice onto him. He almost throws himself away from Mingyu, rising up from his seat to stand and face the others. “I…” he looks at Mingyu’s reddened face and internally slaps himself, “Excuse me.”</p><p>He exits his house, foregoing the mess he’s left in his wake.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>A week later, Jeonghan is faced with having to pack his things for the wedding.</p><p>Mingyu is helping him prepare his luggage, though, so it’s not that bad. Jeonghan’s been relying on Mingyu for many things during his stay, mostly household related things because heavens know how bad he is at managing that. In his previous life, Mingyu might've been a very capable housewife.</p><p>He keeps reminding himself to not get too comfortable; stops himself from falling into a false sense of security.</p><p>He can have his share of Mingyu now, but as soon as the knight returns home, they would become estranged again. Jeonghan watches the other move around his space in a daze. He wonders what could have happened if Mingyu never lost his memory – Would they have been married by now? Living together in a house somewhere just like this? The idea itself seems so distant to him.</p><p>“And you were so obsessed with growing old together,” Jeonghan shakes his head wistfully, letting bygones be bygones.</p><p>Mingyu turns his head around to face him, “Did you say something?”</p><p>Jeonghan hums a disagreeing sound and lets Mingyu go back to work. The knight is asking where he keeps his socks and Jeonghan idly points to the drawer in his bedroom. Mingyu scoffs at his lazy pose and opens the drawers to scuffle through them.</p><p>His movement stops when he digs into the bottom drawer, a hand reaching in to pick something up. Jeonghan hasn’t noticed him yet, still casually lounging on his bed.</p><p>“Jeonghan,” Mingyu calls him, raising his hand that’s holding the item, “Why do you have this?”</p><p>Disturbed, Jeonghan grunts as he moves his head to look, only to gape openly when he sees Mingyu holding his crystal pendant. Trying to play it off, he acts casual, “Oh, that? It’s mine. Why do you ask?”</p><p>Mingyu frowns, his eyebrows furrowing in the middle. He then digs into his own shirt with his free hand and reveals his version of the pendant. Jeonghan’s breathing hitch at the sight.</p><p>He doubts Mingyu knows what the necklace means and yet he never took it off…</p><p>“Were we…” Mingyu looks at him with conflicted eyes, “Were we really something more?”</p><p>Caught red-handed, Jeonghan is silent when Mingyu sits on the bed, approaching him closer and closer. He cannot bring himself to lie any further, not when Mingyu looks at him like that. Not when Jeonghan is still so hopelessly in love.</p><p>“Yes but,” he breathes in sharply, “That was back then. You don’t have to worry about it now.”</p><p>Mingyu blinks, disbelief written all over his face, “Do you know how much I’ve wanted to learn about what happened back then?” He asks, “I’ve felt so empty for so long like I’m missing a crucial part of me and now that I’m starting to find it, you’re telling me to forget again?”</p><p>Mingyu’s laughter sounds hollow, “How could you say that…”</p><p>“Do you really want to know?” Jeonghan challenges, “Even if you knew how it was back then, it can't guarantee you would feel the same way now.”</p><p>“Tell me then,” Mingyu says right back, not backing down.</p><p>Jeonghan’s mouth moves around the words like muscle memory, “I loved you,” he fails to say it calmly. Jeonghan's chest is heaving and his knuckles are white from clutching the bedsheets under him, “I loved you so much I would’ve given up my whole world for you. I would’ve broken any law and live with the guilt of sin if it meant I was keeping you safe.”</p><p>The man starts to cry, his soft, chestnut-coloured hair falling stubbornly into his eyes, and Mingyu is trapped in his enchantment.</p><p>“If I listened, would you tell me everything?” Mingyu asks gently, pushing Jeonghan’s hair out of his face, “Please, I want to know about us.”</p><p>Under Mingyu’s familiar warmth, Jeonghan all but melts into a weeping mess. He definitely owes this one to Mingyu, so even if he won’t forgive him later, Jeonghan decides to finally tell him the truth.</p><p>“Where do I even start?” Jeonghan asks, laughing even as his eyes won’t stop tearing up.</p><p>Mingyu laughs with him, “You can start from ‘Once upon a time…’”</p><p>Jeonghan spends the entire night trying to re-tell their stories and Mingyu is patient, holding onto every word and storing them in his mind for safe-keeping. As the night stretches further into dawn, he draws nearer to Jeonghan until they're no longer separated. Jeonghan chokes back on his tears as he starts apologising, but Mingyu calmly replies with his own and holds him close as they go through it all.</p><p>They fall asleep together when the sun rises outside their window; beginning a new day.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p> </p><p>The royal wedding is overflowing with grandeur.</p><p>The spring floral decorations artfully hang throughout the venue, draping the area with a rain of rose petals. Scented candles float in the air with magic, filling the air with the sweet aroma of various flowers. Everything and everyone is perfect, not a hair out of place.</p><p>Jeonghan suspects this is because the people working for King Joshua value their lives too much to screw up.</p><p>“They’ve argued about this so much, I’m surprised it’s still happening,” Mingyu jokes by his side, taking Jeonghan’s hand as they walk into the venue together.</p><p>“If Jisoo wants it to happen then trust me, it will,” Jeonghan snickers as a guard checks their invitations and announces their arrival. Jeonghan ducks his head shyly when his name is called out without its previous title. Mingyu squeezes his hand in quiet reassurance.</p><p>Some people still recognize him, gossiping about his exile when they think he can’t hear them. Jeonghan rolls his eyes playfully at Mingyu to hopefully show his indifference. The knight smiles, endeared, and wraps his arms around Jeonghan, effectively shielding him from other people’s eyes.</p><p>“Look at how annoyed they are,” Jeonghan’s giggles are muffled against Mingyu’s arms, “I love annoying people with you.”</p><p>Mingyu pinches him lightly to warn him about the volume of his voice. He smiles, “My pleasure, angel.”</p><p>Jeonghan groans, “I should never have told you about that nickname.”</p><p>“What?” Mingyu laughs heartily, “I think I was a genius for coming up with that.”</p><p>“Oh please, don’t give yourself too much credit,” He chides, “It’s not that original or creative.”</p><p>The knight quirks an eyebrow up, “Then what do you want me to call you, huh? My little devil?”</p><p>Jeonghan cracks up at the horridness of it all, “Be quiet. Heavens, people are staring now.”</p><p>They keep wandering around the venue until Jeonghan spots a familiar head of fiery red hair. He quickly pulls on Mingyu’s hand and calls out, “Minghao! Over here!”</p><p>The sorcerer is smiling exuberantly at them. His hair has grown longer at the back, and his features have matured well despite the everlasting youth of his spirit. Jeonghan runs up to tackle his friend into a hug, which is returned just as fiercely.</p><p>“Jeonghan!” He giggles in that cute way of his, “I didn’t know you’d be attending!”</p><p>“Me neither,” he admitted with mirth in his voice, “but our king would literally off my head if I missed out on this.”</p><p>“Same,” Minghao rolls his eyes at Seungcheol’s antics. Then he notices Jeonghan’s company and balks at the sight of them together, “Wait… You’re together again?!”</p><p>Mingyu laughs, noticing some people stealing glances at them from Minghao’s outburst. “Louder, Hao,” he says, sarcasm lining his tone, “I’m not sure if they can hear you on the moon.”</p><p>“Nice meeting you too, you large oaf,” Minghao replies good-naturedly.</p><p>They settle in with the other guests as the royal couple announces their entrance. Jeonghan cranes his neck to see his friends, envying Mingyu for his advantageous height that allows him to tower over most people.</p><p>Seungcheol and Jisoo were both dressed in their respective kingdoms’ formal wear. They look beautiful in a regal fashion as they stand next to each other at the end of the aisle. Jeonghan gushes at Seungcheol’s nervous face. Other people might not see it, but he notices the dumb way his king sets his lips into a straight line. He’d made the same face during his coronation.</p><p>“Oh heavens, Mingyu, look at them!” Jeonghan coos, shaking Mingyu next to him. The taller man is too busy suppressing his tears to respond. He’s just so, so proud and happy for his best friend.</p><p>When the wedding march plays, the two kings walk side-by-side down the aisle. They smile at the guests, eyes in search of a few familiar faces. When Seungcheol spots his friends, he nudges his soon-to-be-husband subtly so he could see them too.</p><p>Jisoo’s smile curves up beautifully when he makes eye contact with Jeonghan. It’s so obvious that they’re all excited for him and it lifts his energy up.</p><p>Seungcheol and Jisoo both say their vows to each other and by the end of it, a burst of flowers shower the whole chapel when they go in for a kiss. Jeonghan looks at the happy couple with adoration and longing in his eyes. It doesn’t have to be this grand or this perfect, he just wishes he would have that kind of happiness someday.</p><p>He glances to his side, seeing Mingyu wipe a stray tear with the back of his hands, “Are you crying?”</p><p>The knight shakes his head, in denial despite his obvious tears. Jeonghan smirks and pulls him in by the chin, “Come here,” he says right before smooching one of the tears off his cheek.</p><p>Mingyu’s face turns so red, he refuses to sit next to Jeonghan for the rest of the proceedings, telling poor Minghao to sit between them.</p><p>When they reach the part where they throw the bouquet, Mingyu sends him a challenging look. “I bet I can catch it,” he says, taunting Jeonghan.</p><p>The brunette is always up for a challenge, “Not if I catch it first.”</p><p>They gather in the middle as Seungcheol and Jisoo both stand with their backs facing the audience, getting ready to throw the object. Seungcheol sends a brief look to Mingyu and nods, whispering something in Jisoo’s ear soon after.</p><p>They count down until the royal couple finally throws their bouquet up in the air. It flies right past the crowd of people and Mingyu is quick on his feet to run after it. Jeonghan, who was following the trajectory of the bouquet with his eyes, is also running right behind Mingyu.</p><p>With a high jump, Mingyu reaches the bouquet first, beating the shorter man and receiving a barrage of complaints from Jeonghan as soon as he balances himself back on the ground. Jeonghan is convinced that Mingyu using his height against him counts as cheating, letting him know with the way he complains about the results.</p><p>Mingyu smiles like an endeared fool, thinking it was adorable that Jeonghan had been so invested in their little bet.</p><p>That just makes it easier for him to go down on one knee, shocking the other man into silence when he does. Mingyu tilts his head up to look at the other and grins at his expression. Jeonghan’s mouth opens and closes silently in his confusion until he manages to squeak out, “Why are you kneeling?”</p><p>“Because you were complaining about my height,” Mingyu answers with laughter in his eyes, “also, it’s easier to ask you to marry me like this.”</p><p>Jeonghan covers his gaping mouth with his hands, staring silently at Mingyu as he presents the bouquet in front of him. “This is so sudden…” his voice is barely louder than a whisper. </p><p>Mingyu is patient with his endearingly dense counterpart, “I’ve made you wait long enough, don’t you think?” he questions with a regretful smile on his face, “This promise is long overdue.”</p><p>“Mingyu…” Jeonghan’s sob wrecks through his body, overwhelmed with feelings of love and fulfillment, “Yes,” he says, taking the bouquet in his hands, “Yes, Mingyu. It’s a big ass yes!”</p><p>Standing up, Mingyu loops one arm around Jeonghan’s hips to bring him closer. He breaks off a rose from the bouquet and tucks it behind Jeonghan’s ear just before going in to place a long-awaited kiss on his lips. Jeonghan’s heart is racing a few hundred beats a minute, almost bursting at the sheer love he feels for Mingyu. He grips onto Mingyu's steady shoulders to calm the shaking down and sighs, taking the chance to deepen their kiss. </p><p>He's learned how to love and return it two-fold, yet it still shatters him to know that Mingyu wants to live through the rest of his life with him. That Jeonghan is worth so much to him.</p><p>“I love you,” Mingyu says in between kisses, moving to lick at the seam of Jeonghan’s lips.</p><p>Jeonghan says it back this time because it won’t be the last time he gets to say it. Mingyu would hear it from him every morning after they wake up and every night before they fall asleep. He will declare it with every chance he gets because now, he knows how it feels to have the entire world in his hands, and he's never letting go.</p><p>“I love you too.”</p><p>The first of many.</p><p> </p><p>──<span class="box">⭒</span>─<span class="box">⭑</span>─<span class="box">⭒─</span>─</p><p>fin</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for sticking with this story till the end! (♡°▽°♡) </p><p>special thanks to ness for putting up with my crying over this story even if i complained way too much lol.</p><p>i know it's still far from perfect and i probably digressed a little from the original idea of the prompt, but i'm happy with how it turned out nonetheless :") writing this story has been... wild. </p><p>pls leave me a kudos or a comment if you enjoyed it ~</p><p>
  
</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>